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Is Parent Attitude the Key to Effective Discipline?

So many of us have heard over the years the flimsy "Boys will be boys" excuse when a young boy misbehaves. I've often wondered if it's just me who finds this excuse nauseating and a cop out - a lazy parent's response to their kid acting inappropriately. Or do others agree with me but don't have the courage to speak up?

I've been routinely shocked and disappointed as I've spent more time in the company of my oldest son and his friends in recent years. I've observed behaviors and heard language that I find unacceptable, yet other parents excuse away. One particular acquaintance has a child who by all accounts is overly physically aggressive. So much so that in recent years I've seen a gradual pulling away of other children as their parents seem to notice this behavior and are turned off by it. This is always the child who takes things a step too far. If someone accidentally bumps into him, he needs to punch that person back in retaliation. Once my youngest son almost tripped this boy's younger sister. It was completely accidental and warranted no further action. I was shocked when this boy then rushed up to my son and forcefully shoved him saying loudly "Don't put your hands on my sister!". I was further surprised when his mother then responded by saying with a smile "Oh, Johnny is so protective of Sally." Clearly, this mother didn't see the situation as I had. Rather than see this for the accident that it was, this child took this as his opportunity to show us all how tough he was. But to see his mother almost encouraging the behavior was what stuck with me the most. She didn't tell him he was wrong, she didn't make him apologize. Her inaction told her son that what he did was ok, maybe even expected. And with his parents' approval, he continues to do things like this on a regular basis.

His father, a good man really, has a known fear of his son becoming "a wuss". I've heard Johnny's mother mention that he doesn't make his bed or help clean up around the house. No, those are women's jobs. "Dave doesn't want Johnny turning into a wuss", I heard her say one day. So you mean to tell me, my son making his bed or cleaning up the mess he's made is a ticket to wussdom? Really? How interesting. No surprise, then, that I've seen him deliberately drop a candy wrapper on the ground rather than put it into the can right next to him. And when asked to please pick it up, he looks at the adult speaking as if to say "Are you

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