by Chauncey Dumfry

Created on: June 25, 2008

"What's in a name?" We've all heard the famous question from Romeo and Juliet. The quote continues "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." Shakespeare knew what he was talking about. It is not the name that makes the man, but the mans personality.
A name is only strange to those who have never heard it. That being said, this question is not about names, but how peoples insecurities affect the way they feel about themselves and about others, i.e. "his name is strange, therefore I must be better". The title is misleading. It suggests that a strange name will harm your child. In fact, your name can not hurt you. Children on the playground do not form alliances based on names. If this was the case you would have packs of Jims and Bills, running around making fun of the Kevans and Gregs. While it is true that children can be pretty mean when it comes to social interaction, names are not a big deal, children are much more responsive to personality and other social aspects that directly affect how much they like each other. My point here is that by the second or third day of school, the "weird" names are normal, because the kids get to know each other. We all thought that it was weird when people started using hands free sets for their cell phones, it did not take long for that to become the norm. That said, 30 years from now Sha'niqua might just be as common as the name Adam.

Some people are saying that a strange name can be a hassle for the rest of your life. These people must be named Mike Smith or something like that. It is not a hassle, it is a conversation starter. People will remember you. Believe me, it is easy to forget another guy named Pete, or a girl named Julia. Everyone knows about Dweezel and Moon Unit Zappa. It really is not so hard to explain to people how to spell your name, or pronounce it. Given the assimilation of so many different cultures that has become the "melting pot" of America, the chances of meeting someone with a "strange" name are pretty high. I work with some guys from Ethiopia; Hanok, Demerlesh, Anteneh, and Robel. These guys don't seem to mind explaining to people how to say their names, and every time the response is not something mean and upsetting, it is, "wow, thats a cool name! it's Ethiopian? that's awesome! have you been there?" The result ends up being a more in depth conversation, more of a connection with people whom they might only shake hands with quickly and move on.
Another aspect of this issue to keep in mind is that you might think you have a "normal" name. think again. Robert in China is a strange name. I am sure people named Jim are oddities in Kenya. The "strangeness" of a name is entirely relative. A name will not harm your child. A name can provide your child with a connection to his or her heritage. It can be an integral part in personal definition, something that we all struggle to understand for much of our lives. If you can raise your child to understand that people who make fun of a unique name do so because they are insecure in themselves, then your child will grow up a strong and independent person.

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