by Zaia

Created on: June 25, 2008   Last Updated: June 28, 2008

I am 20 years old and I have had many major events occur in my life. There were many paths that I could have taken but chose not to. Life is always going to have choices and decisions that need to be made. Sometimes I do wonder where my life would be if I had done this or that but I never dwell on it too strongly.

Destiny and the ultimate fate are mysteries of life. Even though I believe the ultimate end to the journey of life is to become one with God, destiny is not something that can be easily determined for some people. I believe that some choices in life are pre-determined by already existing circumstances but other directions that life can take are influenced by the choices we make. I truly don't believe that my destiny is pre-ordained. My life is continually influenced by the choices that I make every day.

As I look back to the early years of my life, I see that I made many "bad" choices. I was in foster care until I was 7 years old and when I went to live with my father, he was just a low-class worker. My father was also an alcoholic until I turned 14 and my mother also happened to be an alcoholic but she additionally was a drug dealer/addict. Without any positive parental influence, I chose to steal and lie to get the things that I desired and since I was young I thought that my choices seemed right at the time. Today I wish that I could take back some of those choices because I learned that I had damaged the relationships I had with some of my victims, which included family and friends. Eventually I did straighten out and found a good mentor but I realized that if I had made different choices...I wouldn't be living the life I live now. I think about what could have been but I don't have any regrets for the past choices I made.

When my mother passed away 5 years ago I did a large amount of reflection. I saw many things that could have been but never happened. I had wanted my mother to attend my high school graduation to show her how much I had grown but it wasn't meant, since she passed 3 years before I was to graduate. If I focused on everything that could have been between my mother and me, I would be living a life full of regrets right now and drowning in self-defeat. I made the choice on my own to focus on the present and look towards the future.

Sometimes the question pops up in my mind: If I had followed the path that first presented itself to me during my childhood, where would I be now? Incarcerated possibly. Possibly even dead. If I hadn't made the decisions I made, I most likely would have never finished high school, never joined the military, never got the chance to go to Egypt and I never would have joined the 42nd Infantry Division which has become like my home away from home. My life may not be the utopia that I always fantisized about but I am happier than I have ever been and I am content with my life right now. Some aspects of my life I do desire to change but not so much that I lose sight of all the important things that I have gained.

The thing that people should come to learn is that destiny is pre-determined if you let it be that way. If there is anything in your life that you dislike, you have the power to change it. Don't waste your opportunities and then later on in life start having regrets about what could have been. Time is much shorter than you think so you should make the most of it. Set goals, learn good time management skills and find your interests. Live your life by the phrase: "carpe diem- seize the day."

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