by Betty Tesh

Created on: June 25, 2008

After several years of increasingly excessive Christmas gift-giving among our three daughters, their husbands, and three grandchildren, our family sat down to assess the situation. In an attempt to celebrate the "twelve days" of Christmas, my husband and I had begun giving 12 gifts to each member of the family-one to open each of the 12 days from December 25 to January 6.

We had started off with 12 small items, but as the years had gone by, we had been giving more expensive items. Feeling that they were appearing parsimonious, each of the daughters' families had begun giving my husband and I 12 gifts. Then, because their gifts to each other appeared scanty, they started giving each other 12 gifts. Although the tradition had started with good intentions (making the celebration last), we now had to admit that it had gotten out of hand-Christmas was being lost in a flood of materialism.

"This has got to stop," my husband said. "We're helping destroy the environment. More importantly, we're losing the meaning of Christmas."

"I agree," our eldest daughter said. "All of us have more than enough 'stuff'. But, what is Christmas without presents?"

So we made a simple rule: We would give each other one gift, only it must be a)something we made ourselves, b)a gift to a charity in honor of the person being gifted, or c)some item bought from a charity. What a difference!

Let me share some of the gifts we have enjoyed over the past three years. Many of our gifts have been gifts to charities: A gift of animals to needy families in other countries through Heifer International;a contribution to the local homeless shelter, food bank, or free health clinic. If you look around, there are many local and national charities that depend on gifts to survive. Most will accept a donation in honor and provide a card or letter acknowledging the gift.

Some of our gifts have involved participation on the part of the giver: Planting 50 tulip bulbs in a town beautification project; buying a tree ornament made by a handicapped worker in a sheltered workshop; donating a book on the giftee's hobby to the local library; taking part in a 10k run in honor of the giftee; mentoring in the local school for 25 hours in honor of the giftee; working at the Special Olympics in the giftee's honor; supplying baby items for a new mother at the homeless shelter; providing toys for a toy drive; purchasing a new hymnal for the giftee's church in their honor; sending a box of supplies to a soldier in Iraq.

Finally, some of my favorite gifts have been the handmade ones. We have developed craft skills that we never thought possible. Among the handmade gifts; small neck pillows for everyone in their favorite colors; a "coupon book" of promises, such as a promise to help clean out the storage shed; building magazine racks from discared lumber; framed artwork (by the youngest grandchild).

Why do these gift ideas stay true to the meaning of Christmas? They are acts of love. Love that reaches outward; love that serves. We no longer rush out to buy something mindlessly. And as for making the Christmas celebration last-we have found ourselves thinking of Christmas throughout the year, looking for opportunities.

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