by Delishie Hill

Created on: June 25, 2008   Last Updated: July 02, 2008

While marriage is one of the most sacred relationships any of us will experience in our lives, some of us make the mistake of not protecting that relationship from the temptations of the world. Having an open marriage leads straight to temptation. Although both parties have agreed to have an open relationship, neither understands the effects, both long and short term, this will have on the marriage.

Short term, this involves the question of intimacy and the desire to understand what the other person has that you are unable or unwilling to give your mate. Any time the relationship of a marriage is breached, even when both parties agree to the situation at hand, there needs to be some questioning and exploration of the events and outcome. The reason a married person would even look outside the marriage relationship means that a crucial part of the relationship is either lacking or missing completely. Saying the reason for
having an open marriage is for purely physical satisfaction is just a ploy to stray. The intimacy involved in sex, especially for someone who is married, is very emotional, regardless of what one might say or think.

Long term, the problem of trust, or rather the lack of trust, leads to damage within a marriage that even time cannot heal. The question of your partner's faithfulness once the marriage is closed again will always be there. Having a fling or an affair outside of marriage hurts the marriage to the foundation of its existence. The trust and privacy that should be between a husband and wife is forever injured. Having lived through such a relationship, that trust is never completely regained. A marriage that should be filled with love and respect and honor and trust is, instead, filled with doubt and even hatred. The bound of marriage that should be strong enough to see a couple through anything is weakened, sometimes not even surviving.

Having grown up in a generation where marriage was meant to be forever, breaking the vows of marriage not only injured the marriage relationship, but also caused great personal pain. The guilt of knowingly and openly breaking the vows of marriage is overwhelming. The shame involved on a personal level spills over into the marriage relationship. What started out as a young and foolish whim becomes a festering wound that never truly heals.

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