by George Marron

Created on: June 24, 2008   Last Updated: July 02, 2008

With the current success of the television series Swingtown, the media is trying to bring the culture of swinging into the forefront. Many marriages are in the swinging mode, but it is usually a clandestine culture. Your neighbor could be in an open marriage and you would never know it. The premise of having sex with whoever you want while your spouse is granting permission sounds like a winning situation, but there are several underlying factors that create this pseudo winning situation into a losing one.

I personally know several swinging open marriages in the past five years. Their track record is fifty-fifty. Half of those relationships ended in divorce while the other half have flourished, but not without their struggles. One major factor for open marriages failing is jealousy. The two now divorced couples that I know had large jealousy issues. Both spouses began to resent the other for having sex with someone else. Each person began to compare himself or herself to the outsiders. The wives thought that the other women were more beautiful than them and they believed that their husbands were more attracted to the other women. The husbands had similar feelings. Of course, it was no surprise that their husbands really got pissed off when the outside men had a larger sexual part than them. In addition, by seeing their wives enjoy the sex quite overwhelmingly, they really got angry. These couples would always argue. The atmospheres in their households were always stressful.

A second factor that ruined their open marriages was trying to keep it a secret. Both couples had children. The stress from keeping their unusual marriage arrangement from their kids, neighbors, and family members took a large strain on the married individuals. The lies that they had to tell their families on what they were doing on several nights of the week were tough. Of course, they had to make sure that someone took care of their children while they were out swinging. So, they had to make up stories on why their parents had to watch over their grandkids for the night. It took a toll especially when the swinging activities occurred more than once a week. Everyone became suspicious on what they were doing.

Moreover, the biggest factor that ended their marriages was a lack of trust. The two wives never trusted their husbands again. They always thought that they were fooling around behind their backs. Anytime that their husbands contacted one of their female swinging partners, the wives would automatically conclude that they were planning to have sex without them present. Surprisingly, the swinging husbands always trusted their wives. They never doubted for one minute that they would cheat on them behind their backs.

Open marriages are a risky pact to enter. It could sound fun in the beginning. One could have sex with other people and get away with it. But, pure human emotions get into the mix and then, doomsday occurs. Human beings are seeking true love and the sight of seeing your partner having sex with a stranger change any prearrangement that was agreed upon earlier. Humans are very territorial creatures and it is especially true when it comes to one's spouse.

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