Having been a lifelong bachelor and a romantic, I can relate to today's more independent female sexuality in our society. This new sexual revolution began before the whole Sex and the City phenomenon, but the television series did make it more mainstream and acceptable. It has long been the case in society where men were allowed to play the field before settling down and raising a family. On the other hand, women were looked down upon if they tried to do the same thing. Women who had many sexual partners were considered sluts and whores. Nowadays, those terms apply more to women who have sexual relationships with married men, or who are prostitutes and escorts. It is no longer the case in which a more experienced woman is automatically branded unethical. However, when it comes down to a man's own personal relationship with a woman, that negative stigma still applies. A man does not want his potential future bride to be as experienced as he. There lies the double standard.
It should not be a surprise that men think one way, but settle for something else. Bad girls have always been intriguing to men. They are perceived as the fun ones. Nevertheless, they were considered not the ones to take home to mother. A twentysomething year old accountant in Sacramento agrees with this notion. The only women who he has introduced to his family have been the more professional and respectable ones. He has kept away the rugged, dreamer types. His conservative mom and dad would never accept that their nice Catholic son would ever consider dating someone with that background. Even though he is an adult, his parents still carry a large hold on him. What is a son to do? He candidly admits that he will probably end up marrying a professional woman and settle.
As I stated earlier, the more experienced woman has become more mainstream and accepted. But, the example with the accountant brings the motto "but not in my backyard" into a better perspective. In answering the question, "How free do men want their women?," I would answer it by saying that men want to be thought of as their woman's special guy. I have a couple of examples to elaborate on this explanation. A thirtysomething year old mechanic from Fairfield had conferred to me that the woman he intends to marry would want her to think of him as her knight in shining armor. He also stated the he wanted to be her best lover that she ever had. He does not want to be compared to dozens of men. A twentysomething year old male apartment manager in Sonoma has a similar outlook on his fiance. She has always told him that he is the love of her life. The newly engaged man admits that it feels great to hear those words from her. In addition, he does not have to worry about being compared to her former boyfriends.
A beautiful twentysomething year old secretary in Elk Grove has had over ten sexual partners. She has a reputation around her office as being fairly sexual, but nobody cares. She is one of their best employees and she cares about everyone. Her great work ethic and caring nature for her fellow workers overtakes whatever she does in her personal life. But, when it comes to her dating lifestyle, she has had a difficult time staying in a long tem relationship. Her longest stint has been eight months. She suspects that her ex-boyfriends did not take her seriously. At first, they did not mind about her past sexual conquests, but it seemed that they perceived her to be a no strings attached girl. The men used her and tossed her aside when they got tired of her. It is pretty sad. Another woman in a similar situation is a thirtysomething year old retail salesperson from Citrus Heights. She has had many sexual relationships and sexual partners, but her coworkers and friends do not care. She would like to get married and have a family, but the men who she dates do not stick around after their one night stands. So, a true single overnight stand can never turn out happily because someone will get hurt on account one of the two participants would had wanted something more out of the fling.
Going into a different matter, men like a chase. They like the sexual tension between a man and a woman. When a woman makes a guy wait for sex, he will wait only if he really likes her a lot. Even though men are sexual creatures, they are also looking for love. Men are not the prehistoric cavemen that many women label them to be. There are plenty of good men out there. A loving relationship is more than sex. A thirtysomething year old bank teller in Davis has been dating the same woman for one and a half years. They have not had sex yet and he is willing to wait. He loves her and plans to marry her in over a year. The teller is waiting for his girlfriend to finish business school before getting married. A second example is an insurance agent in his mid thirties from North Highlands who has been dating his new girlfriend for over one month. He states that he will wait for her and he is in no rush to have sex. He wants to build their budding relationship slowly.
As for me, I date all sorts of women, but I like being monogamous. I like the exclusivity. Since I am a fortysomething year old and a virgin, I realize my future girlfriends probably would have had several sexual partners. However, I believe in true love. So, I do not rule out any lady because my special someone could be around the corner.