by Trent Lorcher

Created on: June 24, 2008

This 4th of July, invite your friends over for a unique American celebration, one that captures the true essence of patriotic overindulgence: a hotdog eating contest. If organized properly, your carnivorous friends and colleagues will heap praise on you forever.

These organizing tips should expel most problems associated with competitive eating:

1) Don't enter the contest. You're the host. You need to make things run smoothly. You need to set up and clean up. You need to tend to guests, provide beverages, and perform an occasional Heimlich maneuver. Doing these duties with a gut full of processed meat becomes difficult and potentially hazardous.

2) Establish clearly defined rules: Nothing frustrates the competitive eater more than a rule misunderstanding right before inhaling huge quantities of cow and pig intestines. Rules should be written and posted, sent to participants in advance, and should denote whether buns are included, when a hotdog is considered eaten, how long before vomiting is permitted without penalty, whether or not water is permitted, or whether or not hotdogs still in the mouth when time expires can be swallowed for credit.

3) Make sure you have enough hotdogs. Nothing embarrasses the hotdog host more than running out of franks in the middle of the contest. Register contestants early and buy extra wieners for late entries. Buy the same brand. Inconsistencies among hotdog brands may lead to an unfair advantage. Remove hotdogs from the package for easy participant access. If you're worried about opening hotdogs and not using them, have a designated package opener ready during the contest if the need arises.

4) Require an entry fee and award prizes. Unless it's a business promotion, have contestants pay an entry fee to defray the cost of hotdogs and to pay for the prizes. In addition, entry fees separate the serious eaters from the amateur eaters. Be sure to give the winner a prize. Different categories based on weight, age, or seriousness lead to higher participation and more fun.

5) Have participants sign waivers. Americans love to sue. Hotdog eating seems harmless, but eating 57 of them in a 30-minute period can cause severe abdominal discomfort, vomiting, or illness. Choking too becomes a hazard as fierce competitors attempt to chew up their opponents. It behooves the host to warn the contestants of the hazardous nature of hurriedly engulfing large quantities of meat-like substances and have them acknowledge that warning with a signature.

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