by Shey Cannon

Created on: June 24, 2008   Last Updated: June 25, 2008

BAD DAY AT THE OFFICE, DARLING?

Bad days? Well, they just keep turning up, don't they? Like the proverbial pile of horse crap you step into when you feel like an imaginary moment in a lush green meadow as you get back to the oneness of the universe. Four weeks ago i took the brave and daring step to tell my supervisor to stick the job up into the penny slot of his boney arse. After 5 years stacking shelves for a living, i decided i'd lived enough of the dream, and i had to take a different route to financial success. Actually, when you find yourself in the frustrating position of working in an environment where there are too many chiefs and not enough indians, you will understand what irritation really is. Especially, when those chiefs have all the charisma of a wet turd and the problem solving skills of, well, a wet turd, actually. I decided well and truly it was the end of being forced to look up into those corporate faces/faeces and find a role model. When you have a herd of managers and supervisors who think a serious problem solving session is flicking peanuts into the checkout dolly's cleavage and think its a result, one must find the resolve to move to pastures new.

Well, i signed up with an agency and pretty much landed on my feet straight away. Thank God. I tried not to think about it if nothing worked out as i had impulsively planned. Visions of me living in a soggy cardboard box underneath a bridge, wrapped in a dirty blue organic knitted cardigan and begging for scraps of food off the pigeons wasn't a route i was going to entertain. No, i was going to do something i had never done before. I was going to work in an office! Not having the slightest scrap of experience didn't bother me. Hell, if i wasn't bothered by it, why would any office managers be bothered by it? Really, such cold judgements are a cruel mistress to be had, and people should not be deterred by ambition.

Anyhooo, i digress there. I landed my job in an office for a utilities company. The first week goes by like a dream, i'm all smug because i landed on my feet at the revulsion of my previous employers expectations of me. I can swipe my card into the clocking machine like a bitch. Watch...you see that? A mere flick of my wrist, like so.

Well, four weeks on, i'm even better at the clocking machine, especially when i'm clocking out. Actually, i'm eating a little bit of humble pie because, although the people are lovely here; its all pizza-and-milk-and-lets-sing-songs-together Brady Bunch

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