by Susan Mayfield

Created on: June 24, 2008   Last Updated: June 25, 2008

Neither the reality of constant phone calls from 3 creditors not the losing battle with a company over a medical bill that was submitted to the insurance company too late doesn't break my heart as much as my 4 year old daughter coming up to me just now and asking one simple question. "Is there enough milk for some cereal today mommy?" That simple sentence is bringing tears in my eyes. How as a parent can I fail my child so much?

Every hurtle I have faced, and am facing at this time, has always met with optimism. I think to myself, "I will figure this out, we will make it because we always do". Yet I sit here without hope. I rack my brain with what else I can do. My family is one of the American families that is stuck in the middle. You know the type. The ones that make too much for assistance, make too little to really squeak buy.

The 100 dollars a week in gas we use to get my husband to work and back has cut into our already tight budget. Before the gas prices sky rocketed we survived and sometimes had enough money left over to buy my daughter a new pair of shoes. Now even a gallon of milk is a luxury Something that had to be cut back on. Actually a gallon of milk is cheaper than a gallon of gas now, a concept that boggles my mind, yet the gas is more important because it allows my husband to work his IT job to bring just enough to cover the bills.

Mention the abbreviation IT people automatically assume that he is raking in the dough and that we must be complete spend thrifts. I laugh at this thought. We buy nothing to be honest. The largest extra we have is high speed internet, can you see a computer geek screaming at dial up? No we settle on the basics: food, 1 car, a small townhouse, and kids clothing/ supplies. We didn't buy a home that was too much money for our budget, we didn't buy a fancy car, we didn't throw our money away on fun toys or trips, but where is our assistance? Oh yea I know, I paid on 3 bills with it. There is a pile more. If I claim to be a large cooperation will our government come to our rescue? That is said with a smirk. I will somehow figure it out, I think with a snort. Until I do the phone will keep ringing and the milk will be rationed, and my gas consumption will be limited to my husbands daily track too and from work. Oh and one more question will remain hanging in the air. "Is there enough milk for me to have cereal today mommy?"

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