My favorite vacation of all time has to be celebrating Christmas in Los Angeles. Come on, what could be better than packing 3 small children under the age of 7 and 1 large child over the age of 35 onto a 4 hour plane ride during the holiday rush? Who wouldn't want to fly across country during this festive season so that you can avoid the bothersome joys of seeing snowfall on Christmas day, decorating a tree, hanging stockings by the fireplace, or watching your children's face light up when they see what Santa has brought them?

Please, the romanticism of staying home so that the children can experience a White Christmas and believe in Santa for one more year is so overrated. And I definitely get no satisfaction out of shopping for the perfect gift and watching my family hurriedly unwrap each one as we anticipate the pure excitement that will light their faces. I don't enjoy unwrapping the children's homemade gifts and seeing their proud beaming faces when I hang their ornaments on the tree. What I prefer is cramming the whole family into a 1 bedroom hotel room, trying to explain how Santa must have missed us this year, and seeing the disappointed looks on their faces when they see the single small gift for each left by the door.

Yes, you can call it poor planning. It didn't occur to me until last minute that we wouldn't be able to pack an entire suitcase full of presents to bring across country. It didn't occur to me that my mother-in-law would not have a Christmas tree. Heck, it didn't occur to me that spending 2 days traveling during my 4 day vacation from my full-time 80-hour work week would be a colossal waste of time. I'm not sure how all that slipped my mind. Perhaps, I let my real life interfere with my attempts to implement my fantasy holiday vacation.

But the absolute best part of my favorite vacation had to be watching a distant family member inexplicably shout at the top of his lungs at one of my children while he towered over the little boy in a threatening manner. I think everyone should reward their loved ones who have chosen to share their shortened holiday vacation with you by making violent outbursts towards their children. Be sure to continue your blind rage by turning on all the other adults present who are trying to calm you down. Be sure to justify your verbal abuse by pointing out that you only threatened to hit the child. And finally, you must conclude everything by blaming your own violent behavior on the parents of said child who have clearly raised an inherently, abnormally violence-inciting child who clearly got everything that he had coming to him.

Well, even though this was a vacation nightmare, it made me appreciate the members of my immediate family all the more. And for that, I am grateful.

Learn more about this author, Patty Wei.
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