by violeta

Created on: June 24, 2008

Have you ever seen those commercials for depression? "Depression affects everybody". Etc I think it's safe to borrow the slogan and apply it to disability. I know there are many ways that disability affects people and each and every one form affects not only the individual but also it ripples through all the socio-economic channels linked to the disabled. There is the so-called invisible disability, where the person affected has the option of disclosing the condition or not and than there is the very visible, hard to miss evident disability. This is what I would really want to talk about in this article since this type of disability I am somewhat familiar with. I happen to have the best view of the very obvious, wheelchair bound or mobility aide, physical disability.

There should be no surprise for anyone not affected directly by some impairment that disability has a tall not only on ones body, but also on the psychological profile of said individual, on his or her social behavior. Self esteem for someone severely disabled plummets into the depths of chronic manic depression. So that being said, (and before I forget, let me make a disclaiming note here since I am not a professional therapist or a doctor, so all my observations are strictly personal and my opinions are as I see things from my corner) the most frustrating phenomenon I observed is the dynamic between a person visibly disabled but in full control of the cognitive functions and well meaning, helpful people. The intention of most people is to help. To open doors, to reach objects placed high, push the wheelchair etc. This is wonderful and definitely welcomed, however, what I noticed is that the person, let's say in a wheelchair, becomes in the eyes of the well intended helper, someone that is not only physically disabled but also mentally impaired. It's like the IQ is strictly related to the level of physical capacity. Now, of course, not everybody in a wheelchair is Steven Hawkins but somewhere on the mental ability scale most people I know that are physically disabled score pretty high. So there is no need for the airport crew let's say, to address a person patronizingly on a first name basis because the person is visibly physically impaired. The same clerk would not use the term "honey" addressing a professionally dressed but standing and clearly in control of her movement woman. However, when the same woman is in a wheelchair it's like she becomes a third cousin.
I know that all the intentions are good and noble. But as I mentioned above, being confined because of some physical impairment is hard enough and self-esteem, self worth and dignity are very touchy issues, so assuming that someone's IQ plummets into mediocrity just because of a wheelchair is very depressing. If there is a third person pushing the chair, people interacting have a tendency to talk directly to the assumed healthy person standing while ignoring whoever is in the wheelchair. "Is she going to be ok if we open the window?" It's very disheartening and I've seen it happen many times. I am pretty sure that people have a genuine desire to help, but in the process some egos get stumped on

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