by Megan Torres

Created on: June 24, 2008   Last Updated: July 03, 2008

It is every straight man's fantasy to have two women at once in their bed, but for my former husband and me it was a reality. I am a bisexual woman that feels more comfortable with men, but I often seek the tenderness and passion I can only get from a woman. I could not always please my husband like he wanted to be, so we had an open marriage in hopes that both of us would be happy.

In our relationship we were allowed to bring home other women to share with our partner, and it was to be understood by the woman that she would be sharing herself with us together. We had these rendezvous on different accounts and we did them without hurting anyone.

There was one woman that we became comfortable with and had relations with a couple of times, but we never got very personal into her life. I enjoyed her company and so did my husband, but I was naive to think that she was simply there for the enjoyment of the experience.

My husband had weird habits in the beginning of our marriage, where he would go out with his friends and not return home until the next morning. He would explain to me that he was too inebriated to drive home so he would sleep it off at a buddy's house. He began this behavior again after we had begun our open marriage agreement, but not only was he gone all night; he also became uninterested in me sexually and would insult my physical appearance.

I thought our open marriage would save us from ever needing to leave each other because we were not sexually satisfied, but it did not work out so well. I finally confronted him about his behavior and he mentioned to me that he was seeing our regular female companion on his own. They had had their own affair without me; I was merely a player in their own fantasies now. I left him, he had destroyed our marriage, he had destroyed the trust that an open marriage required; I could not forgive him for that.

I am married again and recently I dared to share my new husband with another woman; needless to say I felt horrible the next day. My heart was heavy with regret and I couldn't get the images of him on her out of my mind. My husband on the other hand could not stop thinking about how awesome it was. I know that I can trust my husband but I don't want to deal with the pain another open marriage might bring me.

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