by Natasha Levy

Created on: June 24, 2008   Last Updated: October 31, 2008

Dream of cream-puffs, marzipan-lathered cakes, pumpkin carriages, invitations white or blue? Traditionalist Wedding Anxiety is common amongst those depraved of the "big wedding" in today's society. Marriage was once a celebration of the unity of two people, two families, and two communities. With our increasingly individualist culture, however, marriage has become a means of escape from all who stand to support us in this life long commitment. We've confused the honeymoon with the ceremony. With divorce rates as high as they are, the fairytale wedding is due for a comeback.

Not one day has passed in the last seven years of commuting to and from the city that I have not envisioned myself in all six of the wedding dresses I pass. The last is always the stunner that spurs my hunger for a big wedding. Female heads turn in unison as the dove-white Cinderella gown dominates the window; its fine lace hugging the unworthy chest of that fortunate manikin. But it's the cream-puff poof, that brilliant burst of feminine elegance that has us captivated.

As the others all turn away with worries of the impossibility of finding the right man to accompany said dress, I stare longingly, thoughts already on the trip home. The fairy-tale wedding seems all too fantastical in a world of bills and mortgages. We are advised to plan for the divorce, sign prenuptial agreements, before we even set foot in a bridal store. Where is the romance, the love, the commitment? Its no wonder the island get-away is so popular.

"Traditional" carries the tag of ordinary. Fellow pre-engagement wedding planners will agree that the reality is anything but plain and boring. Your ceremony is a reflection of you, your partnership, and your expectations for the life you both shall share. If you enter into a themed marriage dressed up in Victorian garb or holding a shepherd's crook, posing as Little Bow Peep, what does that say about your expectations? In the bid to be unique, we forget what the wedding ceremony is representing, and can get lost in a world of pretence. I can think of nothing worse than saying my vowels to a man in a costume, wondering "who's wedding is this?"

A wedding should be fun, classy, and make you feel like the most stunningly beautiful woman in the world. Personally, I want everyone I've ever met to see me on this day. I want to walk down an isle of rose petals, cut my three-tiered cake, and throw my bokay into a riot of bridesmaids before driving into the sunset with the man of my dreams as we start packing for Tahiti. I want to remember fighting with the florist over the number of roses, the color of the roses, and I want to argue with the tailor about the length of my cathedral-train, because I want to have something worth fighting for. I want my wedding photos to be timeless, more than a fad. I want my children to see the love and support of hundreds of friends and family in those photos.

The so called "fairy-tale wedding" is so much more than a tale. It's not a matter of "if only."Too often couples hide behind a thousand excuses why not to go all out, fearing the commitment in a big wedding. A vote for the traditional is a vote for love. You know it is right when you can say ""this is the person I want to wear a cream-puff for. This is the person I want to commit the rest of my life to and I want the world to know how much.""

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