by Jeff Turner

Created on: June 24, 2008

It's out there, so I've heard. The single mother or single female, for that matter and her struggles, worries, or interests to date are widely discussed. Open any magazine that chronicles the livelihood of women and you will see for yourself. Take a gander the next time you're in a grocery store or a drugstore. As you walk by, glance at some of the headlines of the major selling magazines. I have no problem with it, whatsoever. A single mother raised me.

Seldom will you find any articles about the single man. If you do, it's usually in the few magazines that chronicle the life and livelihood of men. But how many times do you see articles about the adaptation and adjustment phases of single father's? Personally, it is as rare as finding the Heart of the Ocean seen in the movie "Titanic." They are out there, but you don't hear the discussions, forums, or deep dealings that encompass the entire package a single, hard-working father looking for love. I know because I'm one of them.

So what, pray tell, may be the issue surrounding such a lack of expression by the single-father community? Personally, I wish I had the answer. Maybe men aren't as open as women about their feelings. Maybe the feeling of vulnerability is gut wrenching, nerve-wracking and may cause an intimate and sudden fear viewed by society as partially helpless. Maybe men just don't careor do they?

I've been a single father for 6 years now. Not by my choosing, mind you. I've dated on and off. I've been on horrible dates. I've been on plain, exhausting, good ole fashioned boring dates. I've been on dates where one moment, the situation seems prime and you think you may have found her, the next minute it all fades away. I've had crushes whom have been in relationships already, which is the most challenging. She's beautiful, the conversation is overwhelming, the flirting is prime, and the attraction is there! and then she springs, "Oh, I already have a boyfriend."

"Son of a!" So what's the problem?

I took a step back and came to realize there are few things that tend to become problematic for single fathers. First, you have to have confidence. Whether a girl denies you or accepts your offer to date, you have to be confident when asking her out. I've found that to be one of my biggest weaknesses. If you don't have confidence, find it. What will make you stand erect, look directly into the eyes of the one you're attracted to and ask her out? Is it your job? Are you happy or unhappy with it? Are you overweight

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