by Amanda Blake

Created on: June 23, 2008   Last Updated: May 31, 2009

The sensible choice involves spending the next decade or so in a secure admin role, earning a pittance and staring blankly at the same computer screen. Fun? Not a chance. Reliable, secure, dependable? A most definite yes. If this job were a relationship (or indeed just a man) it would be the kind that you fall into out of habit. While there may be a distinct lack of excitement, at least the sense of unpredictability is removed. The kind who is just a little bit dull, without even the merest hint of spontaneity. I'm not saying that being unreliable is something to look for, but we all need a little bit of excitement some time. The less sensible option involves becoming a temp, earning money when positions are offered and saving for when they are not. The kind of man who might call, but might not (and probably won't). It gives you the high of a great position being offered, or a last minute date, but can also leave you waiting for that elusive call that might never come.

It's hard to know which choice is the right one. Reliability may be great, but it can be easy to become complacent. Suddenly you wake up and ten years have gone by, with you still in the same position as always. Then again, unpredictability can leave you lurching from one position or relationship to another, taking opportunities purely because they arise and maybe not because you want to. Taking a chance is one thing but there is always the possibility that you may take one gamble too many. Looking back it can be very easy to see where you made certain mistakes. Be it not going to university, never moving out when the opportunity arose or just staying in a stagnant relationship, hindsight makes it easy to say "that was the wrong choice." However when those situations presented themselves, how could you have known all the possible outcomes let alone what actually would be the final result? We can't know, however much we may want to.

If you could look into the future, would you want to? Knowing what was going to happen might prevent you from trying new things, even if there were times that a great deal of time, heartache and money could have been saved. Perhaps making mistakes, and the learning process this leads us to go through, can be a positive thing instead. We can help others avoid the same pitfalls, and in return perhaps gain help ourselves. Just because our behaviour helped destroy one relationship might avoid a repeat situation, or help us decide when to move on rather than waste time. Learning is what makes us human. Without that, we might as well just be automatons.

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