by T.A. O'Malley

Created on: June 23, 2008

I don't know, how hot is said stripper?
I'm kidding. I could not date a stripper for a few basic reasons: 1) I don't want to be the "father figure" for someone else's kids, 2) I don't have any diseases and don't want to have any, and 3) I don't like the idea of strange men seeing my girlfriend naked.
First of all, I'll break down the general profile of a stripper. Age 18-26, smoker, tattoos on ankle and lower back, excessive eye shadow, wears pink all the time, alcoholic or absentee father, history of dating abusive men.

What strippers do: Naked, they dance on brass poles and on customers' poles. They are tipped for the first act and charge a fee for the second. Some strippers perform actual sex acts on customers, sometimes explicitly for money, sometimes implicitly for money, but always for money.
Why they do this: Because it pays better than almost any other job an uneducated, smoking, tattooed, single mother with too much eye shadow could get. Also, their fathers didn't love them.
Obviously, these are generalizations, but this question is generic, so it deserves a generic answer.
In dating a stripper, you must realize that you are taking on a substantially flawed person. These are women who, for a variety of reasons that aren't necessarily their own fault, have a wildly distorted and unhealthy view of what men and relationships are supposed to be. In many cases, men have been villains of some kind for all of their lives. Their father left their mother alone, their first boyfriend cheated on them, 90 percent of the men they meet on a daily basis are expressly interested only in seeing them naked. These are women who have willingly forfeited their dignity for money.
So you can date one of these people and you will have someone who is probably in decent physical condition, is very sexually experienced and probably has a high sexual appetite. Of course, she will also automatically yet subconsciously always hate you because you represent the greatest source of her lifelong pain and her daily humiliation.
Because she is human, she wants to love a man and be loved by one, but because she's a stripper with no father, she has no practical example of what that means.
She will never be happy with you, no matter how well you treat her, and the relationship will end painfully.
But by all means, if you want to be able to tell your buddies, "I'm dating a stripper," go right ahead.

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