by David Elder

Created on: June 23, 2008   Last Updated: July 24, 2009

Cell 13

These bars won't hold me, yu'll see. Jimmy Duncan comes an' goes as he pleases. An' Jimmy Duncan is always ready to rock and roll. Go ahead an' walk down the catwalk looking down through the grates, up there all high and mighty. Why don't ya come down here and visit with old Jimmy Duncan, huh screw?

Nah, course ya won't. Ya won't because yer yella'. Ya were probly yella' all through school. Yer the guy I took the lunch from, the momma's boy who cried when I smacked ya in the mouth, then stood over ya and spit in yer face. Well go ahead and walk up there, momma's boy, but if ya come down here ya better bring that stick ya been bangin' on the bars, cause Jimmy Duncan's got a saprise for ya.

They're all convinced that I'll be dyin' tamarra, but I got a secret. Lean closer an' I'll tell ya. Don't be afraid, Jimmy Duncan wouldn't hurt ya, he wouldn't hurt a fly. Ya see I'm already dead. Don't be like that. Don't crawl off in yer corner, an' run away from me. I'm here to tell ya what its like on the other side.

My time came bout forty year ago. I kilt me tirteen chillin', and they hung me in that barn where they'll be takin' ya tamarra. That's why my head hangs so funny over to the side like. When ya drop, yer neck makes a kinda crackin' noise and ya start floppin' all around like a chicken er sumthin'. But don't worry, it only lasts bout ten minutes er so. They think yer already dead but yer not.

They put this black hood over yer head, so they don't hafta look at yer face when yer tongue sticks outta yer mouth an' ya bite it off. That's no problem though, cause yer tongue grows back after yer dead. Then ya get to walk around like Jimmy Duncan here, and talk ta cons who're jest about to die. Sometimes yer tongue kinda sticks out when yer not talkin' but ya git used to it.

Whatcha shaking fer? You kilt them chillin' didn't ya? Well alright then, be a man. Ya aint gonna be wettin' yer pants like that last feller are ya? Ok then, that's better. I guess I should tell ya about what happens after yer dead. They take yer body and put it in a box and bury it out at Potter's field. The only people to visit ya out there jest spit er piss on yer grave, so unless ya wanna see a lot a that, I'd stay away from the graveyard.

Oh another thang, all those chillin' ya kilt, they foller ya around all the time. Jimmy Duncan got tirteen follering him. It kinda takes the fun outta being dead. Yu'll be gitting yers purty soon. It takes a little gitting used to. They don't

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