by Mikki McLeod

Created on: June 23, 2008   Last Updated: June 27, 2008

A TIME OUT TRY OUT

At 15 months I had no idea if "time out" would work. My husband and I had to be a united front on this, because it would take several tries to get her to understand. She will cry, she will scream, she will throw a fit. We are her ultimate security blanket as well as her first teachers. Patience and perseverance are the keys to success.
Use this acronym A.W.A.R.D. Ask, Warn, Act, Remind, Discuss

ASK - First ask the child to stop which ever behavior or action is inappropriate.

WARN - Let the child know what will happen if they continue i.e., "time out" etc.

ACT - They say actions speak louder than words. Do what you said you'd do and stay consistent asking is not an option at this point. Take the child directly to your "time out" location. Stand with them so that they know you are serious and that you will stop what you are doing in order to take care of this. Soon they will go directly to the location by themselves.

REMIND - While the child is in time out, use this time to remind them verbally why they are there. Set your "time out" time to the age of your child. (1 min per year of age)
DISCUSS - When your child has completed "time out," take them to a safe spot where you reassure them that you love them and remind them why they had to have a "time out." Make your explanation simple they don't understand if you talk and talk. Now it's time for hugs and kisses.

If you are really motivated, then you can add "S" to this acronym for "SIGNING". Teaching your child the "sign" for sorry ... and the "sign" for please and thank you will give them a sense of responsibility. It also helps them to communicate their needs before they learn to speak. Teach your child to apologize as well.

One last thing ... have your child stand, not sit when you do "time out" ... it's a little more uncomfortable so that they stay focused on what you want them to do. Also, be prepared to use this tool anywhere. Recently I had to send my daughter to "time out" in a clothing store. She thought that just because we weren't at home that there wouldn't be a wall to stand at ... she will never act up like that again.

All the mommies in the store "got it" and understood. Surprised at my strength and willingness to be embarrassed ... I thought of it this way ... "I didn't have to yell, and I don't spank my child" - and we ended up with some tears and I great "Sary" (sorry) and a hug. She still loves me and I adore her and her spirit. You can do this ... you are a great parent ... don't give up!

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