by Charles Reid

Created on: June 23, 2008

The Lolilocks

When God created the world he created it out of nothing, but after doing so he had a little nothing left over, and he wondered where he'd put it. Then he decided to make a nothing world and a door betwixt it and our world. Then he put a lock on the door, so no one could find the nothing world, because life and nothing are not very good friends, after all. Then God found that he must create a guardian of the lock, so that no evil being might force it open, and so he created the Lolilocks, or Key People, as we have named them. This is the story of how man discovered the existence of the Lolilocks, and it is all due to a little girl named May.

May was the daughter of an innkeeper in a time when boys grew up to be knights and girls wore long dresses and glass slippers. She had always seen the pretty princesses ride in their fairy-like coaches on the way to their castles, and every time she saw one she would sigh and say "Oh, how I wish I were a princess."
One day a thief stole all of the innkeeper's money, and because he did not own the inn, but rather had been lent it by a lord of some high standing in the king's court, he feared that he and little May would be soon evicted. He decided not to tell May, but one night she overheard her father praying to the Lord that he and May might not be cast out, and that their landlord might have mercy on their dire circumstances. May then knew that if they did not find money enough to pay the landlord's rent, that she and her father might become beggars in the streets, and would forever remain so.
So little May, not really knowing at all what she could do, decided on the one thing that made perhaps the least sense: she ran away to find a fortune with which to pay the rent. She took with her an old key which had been given her by her father, who said it had been her mother's a long time ago.
After a day of traveling, little May came upon an old castle, and decided to knock and ask lodging. The gatekeeper was not in a particularly good mood, so he had every intention of sending away the door-knocker empty-handed, but when he saw how delightfully pretty a child stood there, he found he could not refuse her lodging. May then came inside, and the gatekeeper introduced her to the king of the castle, who also admired how pretty the girl was. He told her she may go anywhere in the castle she wished, as long as she did not open any doors which had the letter L' carved deep into the wood. Little May promised, and soon

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