by Steve Jones

Created on: June 22, 2008

Gin is a devilishly tasty drink. I've thought this for a number of years, such a wonderfully happy taste lolling round each crack and chip in my cavity filled mouth embracing me with it's loving glow. I was enjoying one of these fine libations, perched rather precariously on a windswept roof top Beer Garden' partaking in rather fine conversation with an associate I hadn't seen in some years when an interesting point was raised to me. Now as I said I cannot claim the credit for this idea, nor do I know it's genesis so if I step on anybodies toes please forgive me.

The first factor involved in this tome is the weather. As previously stated it was a very blustery, wet and cold day as my associate and I sat hunched over our respective drinks chattering in a low North Western grumble about this and that old times and new times, my jumper pulled over my knuckles to save me from the persistent cold. Then one of us, in all probability myself in my curmudgeon like way, ranted in language not fit for human consumption about the horrors of the smoking ban the very reason for us braving such treacherous conditions.
This I will concede is old news now, and I do admit that even I the most hardened of smokers, and indeed complainers have become accustomed to nipping out for a cheeky fag' huddled together with my wheezy carcinogenic brethren dodging torrents of rain and fighting against the onslaught of an impending gale. And the conversation, Oh the conversation, there's nothing quite like the ramblings of an inebriated Mancunian and I do accept that those of us whose breakfast doesn't consist of three cigarettes and a plethora of swear words may not relish the idea of sitting in a cosy smoke filled room full of good wholesome smokers, there are after all health issues to be considered. Passive smoking is a killer and is far worse than the healthy endeavour of easing toxins from your body once or twice a week by bombarding it with a slew of sugary alcho-pops, spirits and other assorted healthy drinks.
I do also admit that the lingering smell of tobacco on clothing and hair may not be high on any non-smoker's top list of fragrances. It would be rather amusing though if a fragrance was released to that affect 'Channel No 10' or plastered with some celebrities over the front of the bottle. Just imagine Celine Dion's twisted French-Canadian face, complete with gnarled teeth and emu's neck, pushing this vile liquid on an unsuspecting public, wiggling herself in front of the camera

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