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Game Rating: 1/5

In "Zox Space Arena 2," the player controls a little blue alien in his quest to - well, blow other space creatures up. That's not just the essence of the game distilled into a simple statement, that's a description of the entire experience. There are a few simple power-ups, like enhanced speed and more explosive bombs, but when has anyone ever said "Yes, the game is trash, but you can get some cool bonuses?"

Let's just forget the fact that the English in this game looks like it was run through a malfunctioning babelfish, and focus on the elements of the game that fail to lift this thing to "fun" from its current status as "torture." The player controls a little space alien with no arms whose lot in life is to throw bombs at other poorly drawn creatures. The controls are awkward at best, and you have virtually no precise control over where your bombs land, which becomes a problem when you realize that just being caught once in the resulting explosion is enough to take your little armless commando out of commission. You can "kick" the bombs away from you or further toward your opponent, but they don't go very far, and this is a dangerous practice, indeed. Other weapons are available, but they don't make the game any less monotonous.

The art is cute, and utilitarian - it's not bad by any stretch, but it's hard to make out the difference between the enemy you're supposed to be fighting, the bombs you're throwing, and the obstacles littered around the arena. They serve their purpose, but they're not very inspired, nor do they jump out at you from the screen. The design of the generic enemies makes them unremarkable, and quite forgettable.

The game's sound is as boring as everything else: there are bloops and bleeps from throwing bombs and jumping around, and over it all plays an electronic sci-fi soundtrack consisting of much of the same. It's easy to ignore, and that's a huge plus when it comes to "Zox."

"Zox" plays like a half-finished death match mini-game. There's certainly nothing new here, or even anything creative. Most indie games can claim a victory over their big-budget counterparts by being bolder, more willing to break the boundaries and do something crazy - but "Zox" prefers to stay in its own little sandbox, never aspiring to be anything more than a quick chance to grab some cash.

Worst of all, though, is that "Zox" is, in the end, just terribly frustrating. If a player has to put up with a multitude of errors, terrible game-play, poor graphics, and the installation of several codecs during the game's set-up, then there better be some kind of pay-off for the aforementioned gamer. "Zox" does not provide such a prize: it never gets fun, it never get challenging, and it never becomes more than a simplistic, half-formed distraction.

As games go, stay far, far away from "Zox Space Arena 2."

Learn more about this author, Michael Collins.
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