Extended Family. Something I never thought of, or thought that I would be a part of. I divorced ten years ago and reconciled because I allowed my morals to get the best of me. I made the final break and decided at the beginning of mid-life that I had to move on, for the sake of my children. In a new relationship and now facing the definition of "extended family" (he also has 2 children), a whole new emotional world has opened that I have been trying to get a handle on.

I'm certain that everyone, at some point has watched the dreaded talkshows where individuals, couples and families air thier dirty laundry. As I watched one mother and father pleading for help about their new extended family and how the children are not getting along, I could only wonder if our children will get along. Will I get along with his kids? My children are living with us and are trying their best to stay strong and have accepted that their father really isn't the pillar of strength and guidance that he appears to be. So, how will this extended family work? My best answer is that faith and a ton of understanding will eventually bring the extended family together.

Our extended family is in the Northeast, Southeast and Southwest. Having met some extended family members has enabled me to deal with emotions that I had set aside and would not allow to surface. At this early point, everyone has an opinion on what we should be doing, handling our children and their adjustment to this enormous life change. We love each other very much and are committed to make this work and watch our children grow and grow old together.

Extended families are very common in todays' culture. From young, to mid-life, to older, marraiges and relationships end and its' time to move on. I was raised to live my life as morally fit as possible, a trait of the 1950's culture. It doesn't matter how your marraige is, you just stay. Well, that certainly is not part of my make-up and I consider myself very fortunate to have met someone who has taught me to love again.

Extended families have challenges to accept, face and meet. Will the children get along? Will my family accept this? Will his family accept this? I understand that it will never be perfect and I certainly don't want it to be, I just want all of us to meet at some common ground.

Our modern day extended family is new and,as we all meet and get to know each other, we will be a family. It's not about who is the other woman or the other man. It's not about who broke up a family. It's not about who has a false sense of pride that sets them above everyone else. It is about love and the ability to move forward and accept change.

Learn more about this author, Merridith Larsen.
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