Sibling rivalry is alive and well at the Nighswonger household! Along with "Not Me," "I Don't Know" and "It wasn't me mom," it lives in every child and waits for its sibling counterpart to come forth so it might unleash its holy terror on unsuspecting parents. We've got it four times over! (Even the pets have it.)

Now don't read this column expecting to learn how to crush this tyrant called "Sibling Rivalry." I haven't figured that one out yet. I have found some ways to cut down on the competition but really my goal is to warn parents-to-be of the coming wrath.

In our house, sibling rivalry begins with the fight to be first down the stairs to breakfast. From there it progresses to who gets on the bus first in the morning to who gets the "best spot" to do homework in the afternoon. I have yet to figure out why one hard wooden chair at the table is better than another.

At least at school they are separated for the majority of the day. The separation gives them time to develop their own interests, make their own friends and think up more and better ways of aggravating each other.

During a ski trip last winter, three of our four took a skiing lesson together. At the end of the week their harried instructor looked at me and made the bold statement, "You know they are really competitive." She didn't even have a clue.The coveted spot on the floor directly in front of the TV is another area of conflict. It's absolutely criminal that I would make someone who's arguing over the pillows or invading someone else's space either a) leave the room and the TV, or b) sit on the couch. Then there's also the whole "he/she's touching me" thing which would probably take another column to write about.

A trip out of the house swells to a competition of who gets to the van first. We've settled the fight for the coveted "front" captains chairs by making assigned seating. When we arrive back home it's a race to see who can get to the door and then into the house first.

My husband was supervising breakfast one morning when he stepped out of the room for a moment (that was the first mistake). One middle child, Jessica, 9, shoved the cereal box at her brother Chase, 10, thereby knocking over his cereal bowl. When asked what incited her to do this, her reply was, "He looked at me."

Really though, children don't need an excuse, good or bad, to pester, annoy, aggravate or bother their brothers and sisters.

Our youngest, Maria, 8, puts up well with her bossy older sister.

• 1
• 2
• next page >>

---

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: A mother's point of view on sibling rivalry?
We want to hear your view. Write now!