by Gerald Davis

Created on: June 21, 2008

Well, It's another Friday night. This and Saturday night might be the two loneliest nights for the single who does not have a partner. These are those traditional "date nights" that most people go out and do things with their wives and girlfriends. It's a time to spend together enjoying one another's company.

For the single, This can be a going out night too. For many singles, this is the night to go out to the bars and clubs, festivals and whatever else might be going on where one might find single women. Time to troll around hoping for a bite on your line that could make this night end on a high note.

For myself, not so much. I don't drink, nor do I do large crowds very well so these two night are spent usually at home. Not that I mope around the house feeling sorry for myself. Actually, quite the contrary. I have several hobbies that can keep me busy or chores I can do around the house.

I think that for a single person, it is far more healthy to have hobbies and activities that one does and enjoys. To me it serves no purpose and also makes one less attractive to always be moping about what you COULD be doing. It also to me seems to serve little purpose to go out picking up women for one night stands and then slinking off before the sun comes up. The sex might be great for an hour, or two if your lucky, but you really have not solved the real problem, your loneliness (plus the reputation you garnish wont help either).

I've heard someone once say that they keep themselves busy to hide the loneliness they feel. To me keeping busy just to keep busy is only a band aid. It covers and hides the wound, yes, but the wound is still there. Activities that one does should be a salve that helps to heal the wound. Partaking in activities that truly interest you and spark your creativity and imagination serve not only to heal the lonely, but they also have the benefit of helping you to grow as an individual so that when you do meet someone, there is some things that are truly interesting and fascinating about you.

What happens often to a single that is lonely is that they find someone, anyone, and put the expectations on that person to fill that empty void that they have been feeling. They then become clingy and needy. To me, the responsibility for your own happiness, well being, and self worth, should not be put on another person to fulfill. Thos things should be found within ones self and then you bring that to a relationship. Relying on the other person to fulfill that in your life will only drive them away and you will continue to be lonely.

When you have interests and hobbies that satisfy you, you actually become more attractive to others. You are not just a boring person, but you are someone interesting. You have things to talk about, ideas to share. Because you are not feeling down about your singleness, you come across as confident and strong. These too are attractive traits. People want to be around people who are fun. People enjoy others who are interesting. People are drawn to people who are happy and confident.

So, instead of moping around feeling alone, and sorry about your singleness, go out and find something to do that really interests you. Write a poem, pick up a guitar, take some dance lessons, study algorithms if that's what floats your boat. Do something you enjoy and you will forget all about what you are not doing, and in the process, you may just attract someone to you that you can share in those activities with, and suddenly, you are no longer alone.

Learn more about this author, Gerald Davis.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.