by David Ireland

Created on: June 20, 2008

Many people forget that in spite of the best intentions, almost forty percent of marriages fail. Later in life, the loss of a partner might also cause a re-marriage. This suggests that adopting the male partner's surname might not be the best choice. Yes, it is a symbolic gesture of unending, lifelong love, but it might not be so practical.

The importance placed on a surname cannot be under rated. There are sound historical reasons for retaining your birth surname and there are many very practical day to day reasons including providing a seamless chain of ownership of: life, health and educational documentation.

If you really don't like the surname that you have been born with, I guess you might want to change it but for the most part, institutions will recognize two surnames on documantation. If you want to avoid people or institutions from the past, there might be a case for change. There will always be the risk that there will be some confusion when booking accommodation and travel but again, these issues are usually incidental and easily rectified.

The biggest issue is probably associated with those married couples who have children. What surname shall they carry? Who knows what would be best? Perhaps it might be that surnames are applied in alternate order to the children or drawn by lot? The surnames of children who have arrived through composite marriages or defacto relationships will be different from those of their parents and they seem to cope.

The use of hyphens to join two surnames is almost laughable. What will their children do? Add another hyphen? Bless them if their partner also has a hyphen in their surname! Oh, and what of the generation after that? They will run out of ink writing their surname! There is a name for those poor souls inflicted with a hyphenated surname it is "two fathers" or "two dads".

By all means, use one surname or the other as a middle name for children but it is unnecessary to be too concerned by what the family name really means in both an historical and family sense. Have a look in the telephone directory or google your surname. You will soon appreciate how insignificant it is. Your friends and family will know who you are and how to contact you whatever you choose to call yourself but everyone will find it more convenient if you choose not to name change at the altar.

In closing, try thinking of your early friends and schoolmates. Do you recall them by their married name or their maiden names?

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