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Every day, we interact with many different people. Each person has his or her own strengths and weaknesses, areas of wisdom, and points of ignorance. As a result of all these differences, each and every encounter with a person has an impact on us, no matter how great or small. We learn from these people because we are inspired to take on a certain attitude, or resolve ourselves not to do specific things. Just as adults learn from each other's examples, children learn from those of adults. It is to the people around our children, including ourselves, that we must look to teach them values and morals, because the clich "actions speak louder than words" is proved to be true every day.

If we observe the characters of people that have such positive impacts on us, we will find certain qualities about that person that we wish to emulate and pass on to our children. These qualities, such as honesty, humility, responsibility, piety, and respect, are best understood when they are demonstrated and reinforced with praise and explanation. A person who displays these qualities will teach children (as well as adults) by example. Therefore, it is tremendously important to ensure that our children are being subjected to the values and morals that we consider upright and venerable. A child, who is extremely impressionable and nave, will model the adults and older children in their life for better or for worse, so it is essential to make sure it is "for better."

We must ask ourselves: are there any habits we nurture or traits we show that we would not desire our children to imitate? Parents are the most influential of teachers, especially at such a crucial time of a person's life. When one of our children has a play-date at a friend's house: what kind of games are they playing? What television shows are they being subjected to, whether as background noise or central activity? Are the other parents as attentive and aware as we think they are?

Keep communication open, especially when the children come to be pre-teen age (ages 10-13). It is crucial that children are able to talk to their parents, regardless of whether they are asking for advice or just need someone they trust to bounce ideas and thoughts off of.

Any religious or ethnic values and traditions held by our families should be reinforced by talking about them and actively demonstrating them in our own lives. For religious families, it is important to make your religion a part of everything your family does, from fun activities, to work, to social relationships, and schoolwork. Enlist the help of grandparents, aunts and uncles in the moral and ethical education of your child. Religious leaders and aids should also be strong role models that play a major role in your child's life.

Actively living and modeling the kind of values we want our children to cherish and respect is the most meaningful and effective way to ensure that they grow into the adults we admire so deeply.

Learn more about this author, Katy O'Brien.
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