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First of all, let me just say that as a woman, I do not believe that sharing housework is THE key to a successful marriage. Meaning that as a husband and wife, you can come to many different types of agreements to make the marriage work, and housework "sharing" or not "sharing" is just one of the areas that can make or break a marriage.

The reason for this is because housework issues are usually small issues. However, they can be the proverbial "straw" and break the back of your marriage. For example, my husband tends to leave his cups sitting all over the living room on various tables, forgetting to pick them up at night. Normally, this does not bother me; he works hard so I have the privilege of not having to work a regular job. So usually, I pick up the cup. No problem. However, on one of those days when either everything is going wrong that can possibly go wrong, or I am stressed about finances or some other thing, experiencing frustration, stress or fear and then walking into the living room and seeing "the cup," I tend to go overboard and fuss at him. "Could you PLEASE pick up your cup?" He always responds one of two ways. If I say it like that, he gets grouchy (gee, what a surprise, since it's just a response to my own frustration) or, if I say, "Hey, hon, do you mind grabbing your cup when you go back out?" then he'll say, "Oh, did I leave that again? Sorry, I thought I grabbed ityeah, I'll get it." And then he does. This is just one example, but many times the WAY something is said is what determines whether it is taken in anger or not.

Couples can set up housework duties ahead of time. For example, if the husband works and the wife doesn't, perhaps she has more time and should take on more of the duties, or maybe even all of them, if they are both in agreement. Generally, this is the way things work at our house. However, there are times when I am ill or we've both been super busy with things outside the home, and he will pitch in. Many times, he simply helps out by grabbing the dishes off the table and moving them to the counter. That way, he feels like he is helping out and so do I, but he is not committed to washing those dishes or loading the dishwasher. There are times when things start to bug him, for instance, when the chip cupboard becomes crammed with bags or tubes of chips. When he begins to pull them out and find out they are bits and pieces and can be narrowed down, or when the "junk drawer" begins to overflow, he suddenly goes into overdrive,

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