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We never outgrow peer pressure, do we? From a young age, many of us carry the obligation to satisfy our friends, co-workers, and even acquaintances by accepting invitations, favors, or a shoulder to cry on. If your disposition is to see to the needs of others, you've probably run into this predicament several times in the last few days. Whether the root is a slight mother-complex or an innate need to "fit in" somehow, you'll be better off once you filter out the unnecessary obligations and focus your energy on those you can manage.

The number one rule? Don't lead people on. It's easy to nod and smile when someone mentions an event that's far off, or casually implies they'd like to spend time with you. You want to make a friendly impression and keep interactions pleasant, so you agree to vague things like, "Let's do coffee sometime this week!" But when later this week rolls around and you're up to your neck in other obligations, you're going to feel like you're copping out when you can't meet that co-workers expectation for coffee.

Sound familiar? Here's a few tips on breaking the cycle.

Social invitations are simple. If you're free and you'll enjoy it, go. If you're booked, stressed, not interested, or otherwise disinclined, say no. A polite, simple decline will do. "Sorry, all booked that weekend," "No thanks, I'm not much of a bull fighting fan," "Thank you, but I promised myself some down time." Elaborating on your planned absence from an event will come across as an excuse, and giving a longer reply will probably stress you out too! You'll feel like you're on trial for being a hermit. Don't feel that you have to justify yourself when you give a reply. Invitations like these were not meant to be mandatory. If you run into a situation where your friend or acquaintance is going to hold a grudge for the next five months because you couldn't shoot pool with them on the weekend... you're probably better off filtering them out of your social life anyhow.

Don't let friends use you, and don't be naive enough to think they'd never do such a thing. It's unlikely they'd do it knowingly if they're good friends, but it's easy for them to turn to you repeatedly if they know you're handy with a certain task or have connections in a certain network. Filter out the "invitations" to do work, favors, and projects with people who haven't been doing the same for you, or seem to disappear when you're in need. Likewise, just because someone who has been helpful to you in the past

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