by Magnolia Miller

Created on: June 18, 2008

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Yes, it has become a trite clich, but as with most stereotypes and clich's there is some measure of truth in it.

There are many things that we could call beautiful, a sunset, a flower, a green pasture and even a cascade of mountains. But I suppose when most people talk about the subject of beauty, they are thinking of the beauty of a woman.

Never having been considered a traditional beauty, I have had a bit of a struggle with the topic, as do most women who are not blessed with perfect bone structure, long luxurious hair, liquid eyes or a curvaceous body.

When you cannot measure up to the images in Playboy, the modeling world or even those flashed across the television screen on a daily basis, chances are you've had more than one mental challenge with the concept of beauty.

Yes, we've all heard it said, "You are beautiful in your own way", but when you are a young girl trying to find your way in this world, these types of placating words ring hollow. What you really want is to be that perfect 36-24-36 that you have been told is the ideal woman.

But as you begin to mature and grow you realize that your chances of becoming something you are not are pretty slim and so you set about trying to come to terms with the reality that you are faced with.

Some girls become funny, some girls become sad and some girls begin to realize that becoming a real beauty begins deep in one's heart and resonates outward. I suppose you could look at this and conclude that it's a rationalization..........and maybe it is in some ways, but ultimately, I think it is a gift, because it enables you to find things within yourself that may otherwise remain hidden or buried beneath the shallow ego of external beauty.

No one chooses their DNA, neither the average ones nor the beautiful ones. So, it is not fair to penalize those that would be called beautiful, no more than it is fair to condemn those that are not. Yet it does seem that all too often, when one is blessed with an external beauty, that the person becomes draped not only in their fashions and accessories, but with an attitude of haughtiness and self-righteousness.

I think it is safe to say, that the luxury of beauty can sometimes be as character crippling as the luxury of money and privilege and it sometimes, in fact, a lot of times, breeds a sort of contempt for those who do not share in that privilege.

But life has a way of equalizing itself and so, those of us who have not been blessed with the "beautiful gene" as it were, have been able to find a way to see our own beauty.
Maybe it is as simple as the arch of our eyebrows or the endearing way our mouth curves into a crooked smile. Maybe it is the way we laugh or the way we phrase our words. Or, maybe it is the way we choose to see the frailty of humanity and have developed a deep compassion for those who suffer.

It is said that until you walk in the shoes of another, you cannot know their struggles. And so, many women who have walked in the shoes of the average have developed so often, a heart that stretches and expands and allows for the imperfections and flaws of life.

And just as we are able to see the beauty in an antique that has weathered perhaps hundreds of years, yet carries with it a stately sort of grace, we can see in others and also in ourselves that same sort of beauty..........less than perfect yet elegant at the same time.

It would be wonderful if our society could fully embrace the idea that beauty is not just about the external trappings, but it's highly unlikely that will happen anytime soon. So, we are left with defining for ourselves what beauty really is........that which is in the eye of the beholder.

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