by Samuel Winchester

Created on: June 18, 2008

Before a guy can enter high school he is required to get several medical shots. Of course now that he is in the upper echelon of education, he feels a sort obligation to be suddenly tough. He walks, no strolls, into the doctor's office, and casually makes his approach to the desk where the evil secretary waits to check him in for his visit. You will immediately recognize the false bravado of this fella by 3 characteristics.

(Demonstrating these)

1. The shoulder roll
This is where he alternates raising and lowering his shoulders, hoping to create a false sense of confidence.
2. The head bob
This is where his head appears to be on a swivel, bobbing all around and looking at nothing in particular.
3. The foot drag.
This is the most infamous of them all. This is where he leads firmly with one foot and slowly drags the other up.

Dark sunglasses, a leather coat with heavy metal chains, and a generous wad of chewing gum are often used to aid this fabricated feeling of toughness. Done correctly these techniques can be quite useful in aiding to ones mystique. Done incorrectly, however, they scream, "Hey look at me, I'm a complete dweeb!"
So as I was saying you're registering for your shot. You walk up the counter with the shoulder roll, the head bob, and the foot drag. Just as the secretary asks you your name, you hear it, that window-shattering, blood curdling, death-like scream from the back room. Instantly your blood runs cold, your knees begin knocking, and you break out in a full body sweat. The macho guy is gone. The secretary repeats her question for your name. Now, if you're like 95% of the guys in America, your voice cracks as you try to answer. That's if you happen to be lucky. The other 5% lose complete control over their mouth muscles. When this happens, you have to show your school I.D. Of course, it's your 8th grade picture. You know what that photo looks like, the scrawny little kid with too many freckles, a really bad hair day, and a horrible dopey smile. Of course, to top it all off, the photographer has forced you to cock your head at a position unnatural to the human body and made you hold it there for approximately 18 seconds while she adjusts the camera, meanwhile one side of your face becomes flushed with excess blood, the other pale for a lack of it.
Upon returning to your uncomfortable seat you try to distract yourself from the piercing screams by devouring all the magazines in the waiting room. Within a matter of minutes you know more about soybeans,

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