by Madison Lang

Created on: June 17, 2008

I am a great grandmother, a grandmother, a mother, a sister, a daughter, an aunt, and a friend. How is it that I am here in this god forsaken home strapped down like a lunatic? I forgot my car keys a few times, and I had a few car wrecks. One of which broke my hip.
Because of this I have been seen fit to no longer live on my own. I can still walk, though I could use a little help bending over now and again. I don't want another fall like I had last winter. The knot on my head took months to wear down, and I'm still having neck pains six months later.

It'll be worse at night though, I heard them talking today, and that is when the aides are going to tie me down. They think I'm out of my mind, or that I don't know what's going on. I get a little confused at times, but I know they are going to come into my room at 8 o'clock pm. I know that they will talk sweetly to me as they tie my left wrist to the bed rail, and then my right. They'll tie my legs down too.

I'm quite intelligent, I don't have Alzheimer's, or at least I don't think I do. I still remember that five point restraints have been all but made illegal, and I wonder how they still have the right to do this. At least they left my mouth free. I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't yell.

And I do yell. As the shock and audacity fades to fear I find myself screaming for god to kill me in my sleep, as if I could sleep. I have to pee.

Did I mention I'm not incontinent, (except at night) or at least that's what they write on my chart, I've seen it. I looked when they weren't looking. I'm a sharp cookie, I really am.

I've heard them talk about me as if I wasn't here, and I wonder what I did in my life to warrant this treatment. Shock and dismay turns to fear, and I'm laying in this bed in my own waste for almost an hour. They didn't ask if I had to use the facilities before they strapped me down.

It's hot at first, and then it's burning my already irritated skin. They don't let me walk around on my own either. They have me bound into my chair all day long in an infernal belt that wraps around my midsection and is tied behind my feet. I don't see why I'm in it at all. It's really not fair.

At least then I have my hands free. I can get a drink of water, and hot damn would water be nice right now. I appear to have yelled myself hoarse. This all started before I hurt myself last winter. I had decided that I didn't need to be here anymore, and I had walked (Or as they say wandered) out.

Before I was admitted here it would

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