by Danyelle Scroggins

Created on: June 16, 2008   Last Updated: February 08, 2012

I'm sure that many would cautiously stray from this subject thinking that there is no real way to prevent unfaithfulness. In years past, I probably would have agreed but thanks to the source of my strength, I do know that there is a cure for unfaithfulness. I eagerly used the word cure because I do believe that unfaithfulness is an epidemic. It's like being around someone with the flu and they give you all the good to being ill like: you get to stay in bed all day, others wait on you, and you can drink all the juice you want. If you aren't careful, the good would tend to overshadow the reality of the bad.....you're throwing up everywhere, your head hurts constantly, and your body aches from head to toe. So if you're hanging around unfaithfulness, it can easily attach itself to you. The power to withstand the epidemic is indeed a choice. I am simply saying, "The only way to prevent unfaithfulness is to make a choice to remain faithful".

After having gone through my first marriage, which could have been considered a complete disaster, I made up my mind never to take anyone else through the hurt or to be hurt by anyone else. We'd both proved to be unfaithful and the result of our unfaithfulness was a child that could or could not be his, and a pain that would never seem to disappear. After the divorce, I often prayed for another chance at an honest relationship but it had seemed that God had turned a deaf ear to my request. My ex on the other hand, was married before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. After I began to really seek God, I found out one thing about myself....I wasn't faithful to anything except being a mother. How could I be so faithful to my children, loving them, mothering them, but couldn't find the inner spiritual energy to be faithful to myself; or even God? This began a long self-searching journey that brought to light some things that seemed to be hidden in the dark.

I found that I was faithful to mothering my children because I truly loved them. It was noticeable that only the things and people I loved received a faithful result. In this self-searching quest, I found out that I wasn't loving God like I should have, nor did I love my ex-husband like I should have. You don't break agreements, promises, or vows to people you truly love. See through love, my children gain an unspoken promise for me to care for them, take care of them, protect them, and nurture them for as long as I or they live. On the other hand, I spoke to do the same exact things concerning my then husband, but hadn't fulfilled neither, the vows or the promises. What was even worse, I expected God to fulfill ever promise in His word concerning me, but I wasn't yet ready to commit to the purpose He had for me. Because of God's love for me, He remained faithful, but because I hadn't fully realized that loving Him back entailed: true love (on my part for Him and others), commitment, and respect, I fell short on faithfulness. I realized that everything concerning faithfulness was what I needed. I needed to learn how to be true, how to be trustworthy, how to fulfill my obligations and promises, to God first and then to others including myself.

After three years of lessons and single parenting, God allowed me to be found. I made a conscience decision that I would never marry anyone that I couldn't be faithful to. I needed to be able to incorporate all this new found joy I had, when I became faithful to God and healed from unfaithfulness, into my next relationship. Now, I've been married for seven years and can say that I have been faithful in my marriage. Not because he's been faithful, or because he's so great, but because I found a prevention to unfaithfulness....being faithful!

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