by Ruth Greb

Created on: June 16, 2008

Fathers are so important in a child's life. It does not matter if they are a preschooler, later in grade school or high school or even in adult years. My father died between my Junior and Senior year of high school MANY years ago. He had been to the high school graduations of many of my friends in earlier class years but he was not there for me in the Class of 1960. I was class Salutatorian and had so much wanted him to sit there, watching and listening, and proud of his eldest daughter graduating from high school. He was not there and I got through it, but it put a real damper on my attitude that night.

Years later, he was not there to walk me down the isle when I married or later to hold his first grand child.

Through the years, of course, since I have also aged and matured, that feeling of not having a Dad has diminished. I think the biggest help factor was my trip to Sweden a few years back to meet his(and mine) relatives and to learn more of his past as a child prior to his move to the USA for a better life.

Now, I am older than he was when he left us. I still want a part of him and there are times I wish he was here. He now has great grand children graduating from high school and I cannot keep myself from wishing he was here to see them graduate and bust his buttons with pride. He is not here to give a hug when one is needed or advice or even correction when that is needed. I really grew up without a Dad through all my adult years and even though I have tried to find alternate dads through the years, they are not DAD!

Yes, life goes on but it is important to have both a mother and a father. In this society of divorce, so often, kids go on without a dad even tho there might be a step dad in the home. If the step dad steps up to the plate if no real dad is available that is wonderful and perhaps the gap can be filled. Sometimes and uncle, cousin or neighbor can fulfill part of the missing dad gap, but they still have their own children to be responsible for. I still maintain that there is no one like DAD!

On Father's Day you are especially mindful of the fact there is no father to honor. You do your part for whatever man is in your life at the moment and are happy for him, but you always miss not having your Dad to honor.

I have had a favorite uncle through the years to remember on Father's Day and he did not even have children of his own to take up the slack. I always felt close to him but he still was not Dad. I had a neighbor, I had a step dad later in life, I had adult male friends, but non replaced the Dad I missed for all those years.

My children grew up with their dad until he and I separated during their teen years. They always remained close to him and I encouraged that since I grew up without a Dad during those important years. As we all know, those are hard years for youngsters and having both a mother and father available is very important. I am so happy for my children that they did not have to face life without father, just because their parents separated. It has made a real difference in the choices they are making as adults, verses the ones I made way back without a Dad.

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