You want me to WHAT?

Ok...todays subject took its time making itself visible to me. But it finally appeared to me....it appeared to me in all kinds of shapes, sizes, colors....and all kinds of different formats. Sometimes it would just appear to me as a simple message that I can either immediately deem irrelevant to my life or of some sort of value. It would appear in a way that would just pull my weak, weak mind in like it had a tractor beam or something. Have you figured it out yet? Of course not your mind is probably too busy probing through the sea of ADs that flood our everyday lives. That's it folks. I want to talk about advertisements. Ruthless, have no mercy, take no prisoners, damn near hostile promotion of products, and services. Wow.. am I the only one that has noticed what a huge industry this has become? I definitely went into the wrong line of work. It doesn't matter how bad our economy becomes, or how awful the stories from around the world are...there will always be this commercialized predator waiting to prey on the souls of the worlds top issues. Think about it my people, you can not go anywhere, or do anything in this world with exception of possibly sleeping without being attacked by an advertisement. But even as you may lay in your bed or face down on your living room floor (depending on the events of the night leading up to that point) enjoying a peaceful night of slumber, have no doubts as to the mounted attack you will have to fend off upon awakening, being launched from the evil advertising empire.

Was there ever a day when this beast was a tamed creature that we could choose to confront or not? If this day ever was, I do not remember it. I do, however, remember when I paid only half of what I pay now on a Friday night to go see a movie at the movie theater and I did not have to endure one advertisement other than the previews of movies labeled as "Coming Soon". Now, we pay 2 - 3 times the cost of a movie ticket as they were in my youth to see a movie only to find out you might as well have stayed home and waited for the movie to make its way to a Digital Video Disk (commonly referred to as a DVD). Not only would you have saved yourself $10 - $30, but you'd be safe within the confines of your own home, and you could see the very same advertisements on the smaller screen depending on your TV budget (to be discussed in a later blog).

Folks, I wish you all safe passage through your everyday life. I only hope that one of these cheap bastards (you know, the guys who seperate the plys of their toilet paper thinking they just got one over on The Man) we all know and criticize will come forward with their secrets as to how they fight off the commercialized terror. As you open your magazines, as you click on a seemingly innocent link to your email, as you turn on your television, as you drive to work, as you turn on the radio, BEWARE my people, of the danger that potentially lurks in the darkness of the crease on the next page, of the breaks in what is supposed to be a 30 minute TV show (really only 20 minutes due to the dedicated advertising time), of those internet links. I bid you all a safe commercial free day!

Learn more about this author, Ryan Smart.
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