by Stacie84

Created on: June 14, 2008   Last Updated: June 15, 2008

Some people are of the opinion that true friends would never jeopardise their relationship in such a way. However, today's society seems to have adopted an incredibly casual attitude to the world of sex and relationships. It doesn't surprise me that some prefer the perks of having friends with benefits to the rather daunting option of relationships and commitment. I myself have recently chosen to take this route.

However, this is an issue that is still quite raw for me even as I write this. I can honestly say that I feel that I have been a little naeve about the whole idea of it. I have no doubt that it can be beneficial but it doesn't work for everyone.

It may not have helped my situation that my main FWB is not only my best friend but he is also my ex boyfriend. Although it wasn't planned it seemed like a natural move for us. We are extremely comfortable with each other and have a mutual liking for physical aspects of the relationship so why not carry it on. We gave it enough time so that the emotional attachment of the relationship had settled, I don't feel the need to do it just to have him in my life as we have always been close, so I have never felt cheap or used at all.

Then recently he has begun sleeping with others. Whilst I am happy for him to move on, it has changed the way I look at our situation, when others are entered into the equation I have found myself feeling a little cheap. Its almost as if the friends with benefits thing is fine, as long as you are the only one? In which case why bother, I may as well just stick to relationships if I am expecting monogamy.

On the other hand in a different situation, another FWB has a completely different effect on me. I have a male friend that is attached and whilst there is an aspect of guilt that he is technically not available, I am not phased by the fact that he is sleeping with his girlfriend, Infact I find the fact that he only wants sex extremely alluring. In this instance I am strangely becoming increasingly frustrated that it isn't as accessible with him and as a result I am starting to lose interest.

I think the crucial thing to consider before entering into this kind of relationship. Is the value of the the friendship that you have. Consider this, are you really willing to risk that bond for a quick, meaningless fumble. After all, that is in essence what you are signing up for. Plus, no matter how much you deny it, it is inevitable that in some cases what starts out as pure lust can evolve into an intense bond that can cause problems if it is not reciprocated. It can put quite a strain on the friendship to say the least.

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