by Jessica Fox

Created on: June 14, 2008

DEATH OF A LOVED ONE

I remeber very well the death of one of my closest loved ones. My step mother and I were very close. It was like an instant connection when I first met her. The day my dad introduced us she took me swimming and out to a movie. I'll remeber that day for the rest of my life. She quickly became a part of my life.

Over the next few years we got very close. Considering I hardly ever saw my mother, it helped alot having her around. She was stern like a mother should be and also very loving. She was one of my closest friends and she always will be. The day her and my father got married I was so excited. She had chosen me to be a brides maid and I couldn't have been happier to watch my father merry her.

Shortly after they were married she told me that I was going to have a little brother or sister. I was so happy to have a blood related brother or sister. At that time I had one step sister from my step moms first marriage. I soon found out that I was going to have a baby brother. At the time it felt like it took forever for him to get here. I was so excited about helping feed him and change his diapers.

She was a wonderful mother. But the post partum depression really affected her. But she never once let it affect her daily routine. She just seemed to cry alot. My baby brother was 11 months old when my step mom and my father had an arguement and my father stormed out of the house. It was late and I was in bed but I remeber hearing them fighting. I remember it so well because it was the night before thanksgiving. When my dad got home with a card to let her know how sorry he was he figured she had gone to bed. When he walked into thier bedroom he couldn't believe what she had done.

She had hung her self in the closet with a neck tie. I woke up to my dad crying hysterically. He told me everything was okay and to go back to bed. He told me the next day what had happened. I didn't know how to react to the situation. The pain I suffered made me physically sick. I didn't get out of bed for days.

The funeral was probably the hardest for me. Just the fact of knowing that was the last time I would ever see her face scared me to death. It took me several years to get over the loss of my step mother. But I finally come to the conclusion that it was her time to go. And no matter how much I wished she was still here I couldn't change the past.

I still visit her grave every mothersday, birthday, and thanksgiving. And I'm sure I always will. Time as eased the pain a little but it still hurts. I'll always love her and miss her dearly. But I know that she will always be with me in a way. And I truly believe that she will always be watching over my dad, my brother, and my self. Her memory is everlasting.

Learn more about this author, Jessica Fox.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.