by Yo

Created on: June 14, 2008

Any Dad who is worth his weight in Pixie Sticks will tell you that there is no such thing as a "bad" Father's Day gift. He'll smile as he opens the box containing new, orange, argyle socks. He'll pat your head lovingly while examining the intricacies of his new "TGIF" tie. He'll endlessly extol the virtues of your well-chosen "Old Spice" gift set.

However, there are some gifts that, no matter how lovingly given or gratefully received, have unintended and (in some cases) lasting consequences. In an effort to ensure that this Father's Day is a good one for the most important man in your life, let's look at some of these Bad Gifts.

1. A subscription to the Fruit of the Month Club: Okay, no one likes fruit enough to eat all the produce you get in these clubs. Also, this is a gift with an expiration date. Your Father will be saddled with guilt if he does not eat the fruit in time, and is instead left with a bucket full of decomposing rot.

2. A new pet: Nice way to burden your Father with an extra mouth to feed, vet bills, and an additional mess to clean up. Your Dad may love animals, but this is a relationship he should enter on his own.

3. Tools: There is no better way to say, "Ummm, yeah, so Dad.when are you going to get around to putting up that shelf I need in my room?" than by buying your Dad tools for Father's Day. Your well intended tool set will become the heavy, nagging remonder of projects unfinished.

4. A new grill: No relaxing for you this summer, Pops! You and the mosquitoes should just go ahead and make nice, because you'll be keeping each other company out back, while the rest of us enjoy iced tea in the screened patio.

5. Citronella Candles: Please see above.

6. A riding lawnmower: This gift seems like an extravagant, well thought out present that will offer Dad years of relief from traditional mowing. In reality, it will be a gift for your Father's neighbors, and an endless ticket to obligation for your Father. Within moments of hearing the initial roar of the engine, and glimpsing the sleek leather of the seat, your Father's neighbors will be on Dad's doorstep asking for the favor of him just "scooting over" and mow-riding their lawns "real quick-like". Say goodbye Saturday afternoons Dad!

So this year, do your Dad a favor. Don't get creative, or break the bank. Stick with the standard gifts- the colognes, ties and socks of yesteryear. They're safe, sensible- and use of them is optional!

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