by Zaia

Created on: June 14, 2008   Last Updated: June 15, 2008

For many years, I wondered why I always had the urge to write down everything I thought about. Ever since kindergarten, I had been called a smart child and my teachers always said I was a very kind person. Even though all this was true, I found it difficult to make friends; in fact I was often picked on by the other children for being a "nerd" and being too quiet. It was always that way and I never did anything about it except cry.

When I started second grade, my teacher instructed all students to keep a personal journal. I was having difficulty figuring out what to write and my teacher said "Don't think about it, just write.." I did exactly what my teacher said and what I wrote had astounded her. My first journal entry was only one sentence long and I wrote " I hate everything and everybody." This entry resulted in me having to see a social case worker on a regular basis throughout my elementary school years but it taught me something: how to express myself mentally and emotionally through the written word.

Throughout my adolescent and teenage years, I continued to write in my journal everyday and I remained socially reserved. For me, writing became the best form of communication and it served as an outlet for my erratic emotions. Through my writing, I was able to find the voice within me that I could not express by speaking because of my anger, fear of judgment or the confusion of the many thoughts in my mind.

When my mother died shortly after my 15th birthday, writing served as my means of releasing the anger and resentment I was feeling over the experience. From my mother's death in 2003 to my grandmother's death in 2007 and beyond, I've written down everything that has happened in my life since kindergarten.

Writing is my ultimate escape, my stress reliever and the canvas with which I could see the true form of my mind, my heart and my soul...in other words, my writing helps me channel and release the true me that cannot be released any other way.

During middle school and high school I excelled in English class but I thought that I was not writing as much as I wanted to in class. With personal specialized instruction from my English teachers, I learned how to organize my thoughts in a way to effectively convey my purpose and argument with others. From writing book reports and essays and paying attention to the corrections that my teachers made to my works, I learned to focus on the intricate mechanical and technical details of my writing. I also learned about

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