7 of 11

Write now Article Tools

If you're going to manage the scarf and headband counter, you have to learn to accessorize.

Ladies, you need to realize, women are coming to you for guidance. To get ideas. TO BE INSPIRED. This means no frumpy sweaters, no bobby pins unless they have sparkles on them, no yellow teeth. Got that?

I want each of you to go out tonight and buy some whitening strips.

Especially you, Sheila.

Especially you, Tammy.

I like the cinnamon flavored ones, myself, but it doesn't really matter what flavor you choose, so long as you use them. Keep them on for an hour. I don't care if the package says fifteen minutes. I like to use mine when I watch the back-to-back Dimandesque Jewelry Hour.

Karen uses hers on the drive in to work. It makes no difference what you're doing when you're using them. Ladies, your teeth, and your scarf sales, will thank you.

Now on to fashion. As I was saying, no frumpy sweaters. Absolutely no sweaters with pills, snags, stains, or fizzers. Fizzers are those little fuzzies sweaters get.

No pet hair. And no pet odors. I can't believe I have to say these things, but previous years of training have taught me a thing or two.

I like to wash my sweaters in a nice blend of baby shampoo and regular detergent. Then I dry them on a towel on the hood of my car. That works the best. I know I can't control what you do at home, but why not just give it a try? Okay? For me. Just give it a try.

I guess we're going to have to address the issue of open-toe sandals. I love em. LOVE EM. But corporate says NO. One way to get around this is to tuck a matching piece of leather into the toe.

You can find leather samples over in the shoe department, hanging on a little hook by the Bradbury boots. Those samples are supposed to be for customers, but I don't see what the difference is if you grab a couple. They can always order more.

I heard from some other gals who used to work here that the leather samples in the upholstery section upstairs, you know, where the furniture is? Well, I heard those samples work just as well.

Now remember, YOU DIDN'T HEAR THIS FROM ME. So, ladies, if you MUST wear the open-toe shoes, just stuff some leather scraps into the toes and VOILA! They look like CLOSED TOE shoes! Of course, once you're here for a couple of months you will have purchased more shoes than you know what to do with. Am I lying, Michelle? No way!

Now back to the most important part of taking care of the scarf and headband counter: ORGANIZATION. Everyone say it. I'm serious. I really want to hear you say it. I'll say it with you. OR-GAN-I-ZATION.

If you get busy and start throwing scarves and headbands every which way, it's going to result in mayhem. We all work as a team here, and that means leaving things nicer for the next gals than it was when you arrived. Simple as that, ladies.

Okay, does everyone have a see-through purse? We know none of you would steal, but it can be tempting working with such high quality merchandise and we don't want to turn any of our honest ladies into common thieves.

I know you're all going to love it here. I hope you are as honored to be here as we are to have you here. Why don't you all take a four or five minute break and meet me back here for a fun scarf-tying demo.

Oh, and Sheila, be a sweetie and grab me a Diet Coke.

Thanks a bunch, hon.

Learn more about this author, Author Name Withheld 48.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Humor: The first day of work?
We want to hear your view. Write now!