by Savanna Carlsen

Created on: June 14, 2008

Who says an only child is lavished with attention and spoiled by their parents? I am an only child and I don't really recall getting spoiled or having all my parents attention. Okay, so I was the only girl I knew to have a four-wheeler, (but what I had really wanted was a horse). I had my own room, had my own dog, got my parents all to myself when we went on vacations. I had fairly nice birthday parties. I dressed in all the famous name brand styles that were popular in the 80's. I even got a nice 1972 bug when I got my drivers license. Material wise, I don't think I had it to bad.

Yet, what good is all that when you don't have anyone to share it with? I was five years old when my mom lost my baby brother. They don't talk about it, so I don't know what happened, other than what his name was. I didn't get to experience fighting with siblings over material things, or fighting for my parents attention. In fact, I was a pretty lonely kid. I talked to my dog a lot, which now I view as being crazy. I wonder now how different my life would have turned out had I had a sibling to grow up with. Where would I be today, who would I be today? Would I have the four children that I have now? Would I be with the man I married? Would I feel less stressed out about my parents?

My parents. I know they tried to do the best they could by me. I ended up being a wild teenager who lied about everything and argued over everything under the sun. I truly believed I was always right and knew what was best for me. Looking back now, I realize they never encouraged me to do anything. They didn't encourage sports, school, or college. I don't know what I wanted, I think I was very lost, always seeking something, but what? I envied anyone who had a sibling, especially if they were really close. I would watch and enjoy the fighting between them, always feeling as though I was missing out on so much excitement. I still feel that way to this day and enjoy hearing stories of what it was like growing up with a sibling.

I don't know if I was more lonely as a child, or now as an adult. Maybe more so now because as we age, and our parents age, there is more stress on myself being the only one to care for them. They are in good health now, but who can predict health in the future? In my husbands case, he has two siblings to share in the responsibilities of caring for their ailing parents. That situation is stressful for all because they aren't in the greatest of health, and seem to always need something. I worry about all that pressure I see them go through dumped onto myself some day. I have nobody to share the burden with, to talk about it with, to make decisions with.

I'm sad that I'm unable to give my kids an aunt or uncle, or cousins for that matter. I tell them frequently when they argue amongst themselves and wish they were only children, how lonely it really was and is. I hope they will keep a strong bond between them, and as they grow into adults, remain close to one another and get their families together for fun times. I always discourage anyone from only having one child for all those reasons. Friends can be like family and are wonderful to have, but when it comes down to it, family are the ones who will always be there through it all to the end. They are the ones who were there growing up, and the ones you can always go back to when your down on life. So please, anyone thinking of only having one child, listen to one who knows. It's a lonely road out there growing up by yourself.

Learn more about this author, Savanna Carlsen.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.