by Joanne Smith

Created on: June 13, 2008   Last Updated: March 05, 2010

Knowing what you get from a relationship is more important than looking for what you want from a relationship.
I have a sister two years older than myself. Growing up we marked ourselves as the good and bad kids in the family. My sister who cared very little about what people thought about what she was doing thought of herself as the bad child. She often felt resentment towards me due to my obedience and closeness with my parents. I was always labeled as the good child according to my sister. She did not mean this in a good sense and always said it through gritted teeth and squinted eyes. I am sure life would have been easier for her if I had been her partner in crime and not the person who was always there to make sure she was not getting into something she shouldn't.

My sister is incredibly creative and had a wonderful sense of style. She was able to create unbelievable center pieces from things she had found around my parents home and was always able to pull off salon worthy hair dos on her own. I envied her quick wit and unbelievable self-confidence. She never hesitated to speak her mind, even if that meant tremendous embarrassment to whom ever she was with.

Anyone meeting my sister for the first time was normally taken with her. Her crystal blue eyes and wide smile charmed many strangers over the years. She was the type of woman who walked in off the street and landed a job on the spot. I lost count of the amount of times she succeeded at doing this.

Growing up with my sister was the biggest challenge of my childhood. She created constant tension in the home with her complete lack of regard for the rules my parents had set out. Each time she disobeyed I knew a screaming match was close behind. I cringed every time I witnessed her doing something I knew she shouldn't because I knew my mother would once again be forced to act on her disobedience which normally escalated into a screaming fit. Most conversations with my sister ended that way. I knew the constant pain my parents, especially my mom where in because of the lack of control they had over their growing daughter. It hurt me to see them so upset when they tried their very best to give both of us children a loving and safe home full of laughter and smiles. My sister seemed to disregard any of the moments of happiness and dwell on the moments when she was corrected, something she brought on herself.

When the time came to go away from college I was thrilled to be away from my sister, who's yelling and

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