by George F Pecoraro

Created on: June 13, 2008   Last Updated: November 18, 2011

When you are a complete failure as a father, husband, and worse yet a man, giving advice to others on how to be the best father or husband they can be, at first, seemed to me a ludicrous concept, or at the very least, stupid, for me to attempt.

Yet, as I sit here typing these words, words that could never overcome the rock of regret that abides in my throat, words that would be washed away, drowned by the torrent of tears streaming from a once honorable soul, should I endeavor to voice them. I can but hope that perhaps, just perhaps, a touch of dignity and self respect, a renewed sense of worth can be found and molded into a plug for the hole in my heart. For if only one man reads or hears of this and it provides the motivation to become what he needs to become. Then the anguish I am enduring in my old age, will be tempered to the point of tolerance. For then my life would have had at least a small purpose. A point.

I do not want sympathy. I do not deserve it. I want only to convey the importance of considering the following advice. Before ever becoming a father or husband,(and especially after), a true man must be, and is, in charge of his entire being. He must be the master of his emotions, his desires, and his ego. Long before he can become master of his future, this mastery of self must be accomplished. If it is not, then do not expect the sustaining companionship that loved ones provide, as you near the end of your time on this planet. Lonely indeed is the warrior, no matter how brave or strong, that goes into battle to meet his fate, alone.

If driving in a car, someone cuts you off, and as a reflex, you give them a lewd hand gesture, or find yourself swearing curses at them. You are not ready to be a father or husband. Anger is the blinding light that blackens your soul and distorts your ability to reason. It resonates and echoes in the mind like thunder and deafens your ability to hear those that need to be heard, such as your children, and will drive them away. It must be controllable.

Controlling desires, of all kinds, from the carnal to career goals, to beating a friend at ping pong, to acquiring that sports car, or winning that league trophy, is vastly important. These desires to obtain, or posses, or achieve, come with a price. The price at the time maybe small, simply a bit of self sacrifice. Such as going to the sons' little league game or the daughter's piano recital instead of the office party, or attending the so called " Big game".

It can

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