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I love my children. I am looking down into my hands and staring at a collection of small pieces of felt. They are bound by fishing line and stacked on one another. There are designs and a felt heart glued to the top piece. I am staring at a homemade coupon book. I received one from my son and one from my daughter.

Inside the soft, fuzzy pages there are separate coupons including monster deals on items you can't purchase in any store. They include: 15 minutes of head scratching (yes, I'm one of those people), 5 minutes of back scratching, sitting down and watching a movie together, and snuggling for 15 minutes. These are all very specific to me as an individual and a father. This is the first thing that makes it such a great gift. It's specific. It's not a generic, one-size-fits-all, boring doo-doo present. It's custom made for me.

The scratching coupons may gross some people out, but if you have an Abby Normal brain like myself, you'll certainly appreciate these. I can whip these babies out at any point in time, without warning, and my children are forced to uphold their side of said contract. There's no "But I'm so tired dad" or "Hey, it's 3 o'clock in the morning. What are you doing?". And that's the second great thing. They have given me control of 20 minutes of the future. Even in this day and age of chaos and uncertainty, they have allowed me to warp space and time and bring about a harmonic convergence of nails and skin at my omniscient pleasure.

The movie watching coupon promises a time when we can both sit down together and veg-out for an hour and half while consuming large amounts of carbonated syrup and exploding maize dripping in an edible emulsion of fat globules. This, combined with the fact that I am an avid cheesy-B-movie-phile, means that I can choose any Zombies From Space flick I want and watch the rabid and hopeless destruction of all mankind while my lovely children scream beside me. Ok, you can look now. Psyche!

The best Father's day present doesn't have to be expensive. The best Father's day present is made specifically for one dad and one dad only. It's not sitting in the Point of Sale section at the checkout register. And it's got as much of the giver inside of it as will fit.

My last coupon, and the one I consider to be the most important, allows me to put my arm around my child and just sit there. Could be in a park when I pull it on them. Could be in front of all their coolest friends. Could be on vacation, right before we go to sleep, or even at the movies. But one thing's certain, and all the father's of children who have "grown up" have already figured this one out. It won't be used right away. It will be saved for later.

Learn more about this author, Shawn Bailey.
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