by Mary Geisel

Created on: June 13, 2008   Last Updated: February 28, 2010

I had known Sam for about three years, 5 months, 23 days and about five hours. How did I know? I suppose I'm one of those people who remember things easily. I hadn't meant to meet him; I was running late for uni and had only just managed to get into the elevator before the doors closed. I was breathing heavily, and must of looked a sight, with my pink cheeks, a sweat-drenched face, clutching a bunch of papers which looked like they had been screwed up, thrown in the bin, and then picked out...anyway, Sam had been in the lift. He had looked at me, but didn't say anything, although I think my state of mind may of given him a little chuckle.

I had been in love with Sam for about three years, 5 months, 23 days and about four hours and a half.

Since then, I have dressed myself up very often, and stayed in the elevator for about twenty minutes each day until Sam got on, and then I would smile. He would always smile back, but that was it.

God, I did everything. There was the business woman day, the little-girl lost day, the pink day, the 80s day...I dressed up as a fairy, a nun, a ballerina, a man....I turned into an emo, a chav, a goth, and even dressed up in my school uniform...

Why was I chasing a man who wasn't chasing me back? My sister thought I was mad. She told me that I was wasting my life. She even said 'What are you going to do next? Dress up as Mother bloody Teresa?' I didn't mention the nun. My mother agreed to her, as did my best friend, Stella.

'He obviously isn't intrested, Sarah,' she said. 'Men are only interested in three things-sex, cars and football. It's a waste trying to change him, Sar, it really is.'
I thought long and hard about this, and came to the conclusion that I was, indeed, mad.

And so, the next day, I didn't dress up. I stomped in my great big boots, stormed straight into the elevator...and bumped into Sam.
And then I let it rip.

"How dare you," I screamed at the top of my lungs. 'Ignore my attemps to impress you, you vain little twit! Do you know how incredibly rude it is, ignoring a woman? It is very rude! As Shakespeare would say...."I had to pause for a moment and think about what Shakespeare would actually say. "Thou knotty pated fool! You bull's pizzle! You prince of Wales! You...'
I glared at him.

'Sarah,' he said suddenly, breaking my glare. 'Just kiss me.'
And I did. Quite happily.

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