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Created on: June 13, 2008 Last Updated: June 14, 2008
Although more and more people in modern society indicate an openness to dating outside of their race, many still consciously or subconsciously prefer either to date only individuals from their racial background or individuals from specific racial backgrounds while excluding all others. Most people who admit to such limitations on who they will date defend this practice as simply a preference rather than yet another, subtle form of racism. The reasoning ranges from innate or genetic attractions to people of a specific race or who share their own background and wanting someone with similar cultural values or experiences, to feeling as though one relates more to a particular race and the desire to have children who resemble themselves.
While many reasons offered for dating limitations present legitimate concerns, does having such concerns adequately answer the question of whether or not excluding particular races for any reason in any context amount to racism? And are race-based dating limitations truly just preferences, or are they a smaller reflection of society's racist views in general?
Here are five things to consider, regardless of your stance:
1) Engaging in racism does not require hatred, intent or conscious effort
It seems that most people who defend, what they call, preferences believe that these preferences are not racist simply because being racist is not their intent or there is no overt act of what society undeniably recognizes as racism. The majority of us would not hesitate to call an employer's stated preference for a white employee as opposed to a black employee racist, and the law does not accept any reasons an employer could offer as to why that preference is reasonable aside from qualifications. Whether or not the employer intends to behave in a racist fashion towards blacks, hates blacks or has what he believes to be a very good reason for his preference does not change the fact that blacks and whites are being treated and impacted differently. Whenever you have differential treatment or disparate impact as related to race, that is racism.
2) History, the media and stereotypes may matter more than you think
Along the same lines, recognize that your simple choice to only date people of your background or select backgrounds does is more than a simple choice. Interracial dating patterns are highly unequal. Black women and Asian men are single in higher numbers than others. Indeed, the most popular interracial relationships in the media are black men
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