Be a Parent, Teach Your Children to Fail

You know what kids are lacking these days? Failure. We try to protect them so much, that when they find out that they are not in fact perfect they don't know how to handle the failure. The pressure to succeed, along with the normal adolescent strains are too much for anyone to handle.

One of the most important psychological attributes to a baby or toddler, is learning that when you fall down you can get back up. I think that is why we wait to potty train. It gives them extra cushion. If we continue to shelter our children and let them think that no matter how gifted they are or aren't what is going to happen?

Every child has their own gift. It is up to them to find out what it is.It is up to us as parents to guide them. Take for example the ridiculous kid on American Idol. You feel bad for him before he opens his mouth, his hair is outdated as well as his clothes and his acne is unmanageable. His parents love him so much, they don't want to tell him he is a horrible singer. Well, then Simon gets a hold of him, and next thing you know the kid is contemplating suicide.

A parent at some point needs to understand that life is not great. Most of the time it may not be good, but we have to teach our kids to find the good in it. You have to let them know it is okay not to be Celine Deon. Maybe you are going to be Bill Gates instead of Bobby Brown. Is that such a bad thing? It is all in perspective. If we can tell our kids to do their best and be proud of what they are capable of doing, then there is no failure. When they don't pass a test it is because they need to study more. Not because they are "idiots" and feel like they need to bring guns to school to release their frustrations.

If we went to work and our bosses said that everyone will now be getting $50,000 per year salary and a $1,000 annual raise regardless of performance; would you try to do a better job? Would you volunteer for overtime, to not get paid for it? This is what we are expecting our kids to do.

If we are not careful the generation we are creating is going to be creating their own. All that will be left is a generic world full of mediocre people. We have to expect the bad to accept the good. I know it's a cliche, but there has to be a last place in order to have a first place. All we have to do as parents is let our kids know it is okay. When they are last, hug them, and let them know there will be a time they will first.

Love your failures, and watch them succeed!

Learn more about this author, Laura Clements.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Tips for raising confident children?
We want to hear your view. Write now!