by Linda Catoe

Created on: June 12, 2008

I was born on Father's Day. No big surprise gift for Dad, but I was the first girl, and I'm pretty sure my father would rather have had a new set of golf clubs. Suffice it to say, we weren't very close. Our father provided for us, but was he played the silent partner to my mother, his messenger.

My brothers, as backlash would have it, have been so hands on fathers they've contributed to that generation "Y" sense of entitlement that constantly pushes the boundaries of their Dad realities. With that in mind, my mind took a tongue in cheek walk on the wicked side. Do come along.

How about these fun ideas? Let's surprise Dad and redecorate his man cave? Replace the cave fridge beer with healthy, vitamin water and fat-free snacks. And those Cuban cigars, nasty, bye-bye. A really nice touch: Paint Papa's golf clubs in pretty pastel colors, and color code his power tools, after you drag them all out, wash them and reorganize them, tossing all those pesky extra parts.

Another thoughtful gift for Dad would be a day pass to the local water park with the kids, all of them. The sincerely practical-minded offspring could spring for scheduling that colonoscopy that Dad keeps putting off, or maybe it's time for a surprise prostate exam, ooh, or a root canal. Nothing says, "I love you" more than caring about your health, Dad.

You know Dad doesn't get out much, so how about tickets to "Disney on Ice,"
"Hannah Montana" or any musical comedy or ice skating event. Dad really doesn't like to go out much? Get him some romantic comedy DVDs, or an epic saga with subtitles and insist on watching one with him at the exact same time that his favorite sporting event or a NASCAR race airs. Tickets to the game or race, hmmm, should have thought of that sooner. Well there's always next year. And it's a good thing you didn't sign him up for racecar driving school, he'd hate that.

Hoped that helped, but how about some Father's Day gifts with teeth. The obvious, your sixteen year old announces, "Happy Father's Day, you're going to be a Grandad. And we're going to live here with you and Mom. It's all worked out." Then there's the sensitive sharing son, "Dad, for you this Father's Day, I'm coming out. Surprise! No, really." Now I know you can see this one coming, "Happy Father's Day, I've taken a lover, I want a divorce, I'm leaving you, or your girlfriend called, good luck with that, see you in court. You know, something traditional. Don't just give things, do things.

Do have a safe and happy Father's Day, and remember there are no bad Father's Day gifts, and those not so present Fathers are by and large, doing the best they can to show their love. Most importantly, love is the very best thing you can give your Dad. Happy Father's Day!

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