by Ronnie Jay

Created on: June 12, 2008

You know that hangdog feeling
When life's kicked you in the crutch,
When the world seems ranged against you
And to breathe seems just too much?

Oh you know what it feels like
When your socks are full of burrs,
When the toast your wife's just buttered
Isn't yours, but hers;

When you stoop to tie a shoelace,
Coz it's loose and flips and flaps,
But as you pull it tighter,
Bet your life - the damn thing snaps!

You're locked in grand seclusion
And it's time to pull the chain;
You're groping for the paper,
But it's all used up again.

At the boss's cocktail party -
And this is just too rich!
It's your shoe something's under
When noses start to twitch.

It's bedtime, you're so hopeful -
It's your birthday, after all -
But lovey's got a headache
And simply won't play ball.

You're tactfully reminded
Dirty dishes fill the sink;
Your crossword puzzle's waiting,
But your pen is out of ink.

A tooth has lost its filling,
The nail clipper's blunt,
Your shoes are needing polish,
There's egg yolk down your front - - -

Well why not drown your sorrows
In some beer down at the pub
With all your kindred spirits
And cheer up - YOU'VE JOINED THE CLUB!

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