by Elizabeth Rogers

Created on: June 12, 2008   Last Updated: March 27, 2012

"As time goes on, I realize, how much they mean to me," is the way the old song sort of goes. It is certainly true of the way I view my parents and the love and respect they have given me as a person for as long as I can remember. In my family, children were to be seen and heard. Being respected and valued has an immense impact on the self-esteem of a person. It is a gift I did not know how to ask for but was freely given and has been gratefully received.

As a child I assumed that my family was normal and did not question the way our home was "run". I went to neighbor's homes and simply accepted the things that happened in them as normal for them. I did not think about life in the long run, results of patterns of behavior or the significance of one particular lifestyle over another. I was self-focused, viewing my world from my inside out, and simply reacted to what did or did not make me happy and fulfilled.

It was only as I matured that I learned that discipline for poor behavior helped me make better choices, saving my "allowance" helped me work a budget and speaking my mind respectfully earned me a valid place in a conversation. My parents freely gave me room to discover these things with time and space for adjustment, not a heavy-handed control. Our dinner table was always a conversation-table and each member of the family was encouraged to speak. As the youngest child, and rather behind the rest when it came to discussing current events, I found my place by adding one-liners that came to me as I turned the words of others over in my mind. This "silliness" was given a place of honor as my parents took a break from the serious issues of life and laughed for a minute or two. They thought laughter was important.

As I grew a little older, they were interested in what was happening in my day. They shared insights about how to deal with problems and praised me when I did something well. I never heard them complaining to their friends about me, and I didn't hear them bragging either; they used those word when they were speaking with me, and it has an impact that they did.

Years passed and I got married and had children of my own. I did not do everything the way my parents did, but one thing I never let go of and I hope I never do. From the youngest to the oldest, I have viewed my children as people who have something worth sharing with our family. They have not been and are not now, simply learners in the grand scheme of their lives. They are teachers as well, from the way things look the way they see them. I have a lot to learn!

I am tremendously grateful to my parents for teaching me that I have a voice, not just a bunch of words. Perhaps they are the reason that I write, believing that if even one other person reads my work and is enriched in some small way, I have made a positive difference in the world. As an author, that is something to be thankful for that makes my day go around. I guess it is really true; what goes around comes around. Thanks Mom and Dad, I owe my words to you!

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